I AM INCREASINGLY HORRIFIED BY THE PHOTOS I SEE OF WHAT HAPPENED AT MOS.
DUDE!!!!
And it doesn't HELP that everyone has their profile picture of THAT?!!?!?!? ARGH! My reputation is definitely tarnished forever. I will now have to change my last name and move far away from here.
Best part? I don't have an excuse because I wasn't even drunk man. COMPLETELY SOBER. I can't imagine what would happen if I were drunk. And without my two protective mother hens... Hah.
Well, at least he didn't taste of whiskey. (I bloody hate whiskey. Makes me vomit.)
And he was English.
And he was not fat. (Though on the short side.)
Hmmmm.
It was quite nice, actually. Hahaha.
Ok, will not elaborate. I don't want judgemental people to criticise my (negligible) morals and turpitude. Like, HONEY, I KNOW. Just shut up already. It's different when THESE PEOPLE do it and when like, the girls do it.
Like, WHAT------EVER.
Anyway, I just read Mishima's 'Patriotism' again.
DUDE IT'S FREAKING CHILLING. I loveitloveitloveit!!! You guys should REALLY REALLY READ IT. It's short and simple. But the effect is like, WOAH. I wanted to cry and die at the end. In fact, Mishima DID do the hara kiri disembowelement thing himself. Go check it out on wikipedia man. WHAT a guy.
"With only his right hand on the sword the lieutenant began to cut sideways across his stomach. But as the blade became entangled with the entrails it was pushed constantly outward by their soft resilience; and the lieutenant realised that it would be necessary, as he cut, to use both hands to keep the point pressed deep into his stomach. He pulled the blade across. It did not cut as easily as he had expected. He directed the strength of his whole body into his right hand and pulled again. There was a cut of three or four inches...."
And my FAVOURITE LINE FROM THE STORY:
"The vommiting made the fierce pain fiercer still, and the stomach, which had thus far remained firm and compact, now abruptly heaved, opening wide its wound, and the entrails burst through, as if the wound too were vomiting. Seemingly ignorant of their master's suffering, the entrails gave an impression of robust health and almost disagreeable vitality as they slipped smoothly out and spilled over into the crotch. The lieutenant's head drooped, his shoulders heaved, his eyes opened to narrow slits, and a thin trickle of saliva dribbled from his mouth. The gold markings on his epaulettes caught the light and glinted..."
MAN.
How can you not FEEL when you read this? I'm sure it's even better in Japanese.
Now is a good time to prepare and ready myself for another round of Dostoyevsky... or (DARE I SAY IT) Kafka?????
You know what? Maybe not. Marquis de Sade will do absolutely fine. (Hehehehehe)
Wah sia lah. DAMNNNN fucking shagged. Not literally... I think? Anyway, it was an adventurous night, to say the least. Hehehe. I mean, like, it turned from 1-for-1 to TOTALLY FREE DRINKS!!! Free entry and free drinks... That's like waving a red flag to a Spanish bull. We totallly ATTACKED. 2 jugs, 6 shots and countless strange mixers later....
Haha.
I was grabbing the vines off the wall and dancing with the bloody plant, throwing leaves at everyone. And in the TOILET, that was the best. I sustained so many injuries (which I of course did not feel then) that I almost couldn't move today. Here's a summary of events: Like, I tottered (just barely) to the toilet, peed, stood up to clean my ass, fell back down on the seat, laughed, stood up again and this time rammed my head into the door, after which like force-and-effect, I fell back down on the seat, and as I turned for more toilet paper, I banged my head into the toilet paper holder.
Damn funny now.
And I'm convinced the best way to quit is to smoke/drink/fuck (in no particular order) yourself into a disgusting frenzy and vomit uncontrollably (ok, maybe not uncontrollably) so that you will swear never to drink/smoke/fuck again.... for the next 5 days. I mean, I woke up tasting my vodka in my mouth. Could even taste the potato the vodka was brewed from. And I was so stoned I wore my panties the wrong way around, and broke a bra strap (HOW, I don't know how.). Ahhh ya shoulda been there. It was the most hilarious night ever.
Ok, I can't really remember much, and I am so awfully tired. Went to the bloody zoo today. SUCH GOOD, CLEAN, WHOLESOME FUN! Hahaha. I still hate animals. But anyway. I am going to crash. (first normal sleeping time) TOMORROW WILL BE A BETTER NIGHT! I will exercise my exceptional powers of self-control by chanting my personal mantra.
I'm thinking of my soul's sovereignty, and I know everything you hate in me. Fill me up with over-pious badgerings, to throw them up, oh, one of my favorite things.
Too bad the things that make you mad are my favorite things. My favorite things.
Remember all the lessons fed to me? Me the young sponge, so ready to agree. Years have gone; I recognize the walking dead, now aware that I'm alive and way ahead.
Too bad the things that make you mad are my favorite things. yeah And I'm so happy. I see you looking, I know that you're thinking that I'll never go anywhere. The things that I've done and the things that I've seen, I don't really expect you to care.
Too bad the things that make you mad are my favorite things... yeah And I'm so happy
Too bad the things that make you mad are my favorite things
HAH. Suck that, bitch. Harumph. But really, Incubus is extraordinary. Like, lyrics-wise and music-wise and performance-wise. (I know, because I was there when they came to Singapore - how can I forget that? It was SO HOT!) I know this song isn't well-known, or even that popular (they played this at the gig, and everyone was like, eh? wot's that again? And I'm the only bitch there going OHMYGODITSMYFAVOURITESONGEVERAHHHHHHHAHHHHHHAHHHHH! SHIT DUDES WHATISWRONGWITHYOUGUYS?!?!?!?! ITS FAVOURITE THINGSSSSSSSS!!!), but that's good. I hate it when it becomes all commercialised because then it loses some of its specialness. Anyway, I'm off on a tirade again. All their songs are like... Oh my god I can totally relate to EACH INCIDENT in my shithole life.
In VERY unrelated news, I am so happy!!! (Eh sia lah, I sound a bit schizo man.) FINALLY, FINALLY my teacher thinks I'm good enough to play... GUESS WHAT... WAIT FOR IT WAIT FOR IT...
BOTTESINI'S CONCERTO NO. 2 IN B MINOR!!!! YEAAAAH! That's the shit right there man. I mean, Koussevitzsky's No. 3 is CHICKENSHIT compared to this. (Hahaha much less bloody Capuzzi.) I'm really fumbling over this. Unlike my usual extrordinary immortal superhuman sight-reading abilities. (Oh oh, forgive me. THOU SHALT NOT BE PRIDEFUL.) It's like learning like, I don't know, what's a really difficult concerto? Liszt's Piano Concerto or Ravel's Left Hand Concerto or something. (Shit, I ought to listen to classical stuff more. I'm studying that for god's sake. ARGH) MAN OH MAN. I'm ELATED! Yes yes yes EVERYTHING IS GOING SO WELLLLLL!!!!! In 2 weeks, I'm gonna show you punks what a double bass really is. WAHEEEEE!!
Ok ok, feel like vomitting. Going tanning tomorrowwwww!!! And Thursday!!! Yayyyyy!!! (I AM NOT GETTING BURNT AGAIN. This time I have SPF 100000.)
GREAT! I know, jetlag and all, but fuck that man, I'm going back to Europe in about a month! I can sleep anytime I goddamn want! Nanananananaaaaa!
And why are there so many people online???!! Don't you guys have SCHOOL or something?! Jesus. Kids nowadays. ALL HOOLIGANS I TELLYA, HOOLIGANS!
YES YES FUCKING YES BABY I GOT INTO THE FRANZ LISZT ACADEMY!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO'S YOUR DADDY NOW EH BITCH!?????
I AM FUCKING EUPHORIC!!!!!
I AM REALLY PLANNING A FAREWELL PARTY NOW! EVERYONE'S INVITED!!! BRING YOUR OWN WHORES!!! I'LL HIRE MIDGETS AND BUY FIRECRACKERS!!!!!
ARGHHHH YES!!!!
IT'S "GOODBYEEEEEE SUCKERSSSSSS!" AND "HELLOOOOOOOO BUDAPEST!!!!"
hoh my fucking god, this is DA SHIT. DA SHIT MAN!!!! Fuck if I'm alone.
YES YES YES YES 4 STRAIGHT DAYS OF CLUBBING IS MAKING ME INSANE BUT I DON'T CARE BECAUSE IF I DON'T DRINK MYSELF INTO OBLIVION NOW, WHEN CAN I???? (hey I'm going there to STUDY you know, not PARTY?? SERIOUS!)
Now that I'm back in Singapore for like, 43 hours (ok I admit it took me about 2 minutes to calculate that - WITHOUT A CALCULATOR OK, SO IT AIN'T MY FAULT BITCHES), I finally realised HOW MUCH I MISS EVERYONE!!!
YOU HEAR THAT YOU GUYS?!!! I FUCKING MISS YA ALL!!!!
SO WHEN ARE WE MEETING UP!?!?!?!?!
So freaking bored at home. Bumming around, alternately putting things into mouth and reading stupid books like 'He's just not that into you'. DUDE, don't ever read that book. It's a bunch of nonsense, basically just boosting your ego and telling you how fabulous you are. I'm so disgusted by it. Almost as bad as 'Tuesdays with Moorie' - like, can it get any preachier??! Hate these books. It makes me feel small inside.
Well, anyway, I cannot wait for ladies night. And New Asia!!! And my leaving party! Everyone's invited! Bring your own whores!
YES YES YES!!!!
Once again, after I return from a trip, I find a huge fucking bomb of gossip waiting for me. It ain't fair! I didn't land any Italian guys after all. (NOT surprising, considering... DESPITE all my life-long fate meeting Italians everywhere but in Italia.)
I don't know what I'll do without you guys. :( :( :(
Alcohol, I know I can trust you. You won't leave me like those dirty bastards did, would you?
In unrelated news: I really CANNOT stop shitting. I've shitted like, 9 times today. Is that all the toxins in my body? But that's ridiculous! My body is a temple!
Right right right. Thank god for these draft-saving options on blogger. I'm an extreme person, and sometimes I need to edit things that I say. Wouldn't want people to get the wrong impression now, would I?
(Hmm, I just re-read through this, and the irony in that is absolutely TREMENDOUS. Ah-ha!)
Ok, need to do frivolous, totally un-intellectual things like paint my fingers. Bloody judgemental Singaporeans. I feel so inferior now!!! AARGH! Goddamn you!
HAHAHAHAHA I AM SO AMUSED (BLOG-HOPPING) BY THE VARIOUS ENTRIES I READ. AND THE VARIOUS HEARTACHES HAHAHAHAHAHA ALL THESE LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS. THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN LOVE.
I don't know. HMMM. Feels liks deja vu, like 2005 in Vienna. But after all, it's been 6 years... I'ma miss everyone!!! I don't want to go Hungary/Russia anymore! (Oh god. Oh god. I really shouldn't be saying this. What if it really comes true?!) I'll be all aloneeeeeeeee!!! Despite the various prejudices and discriminations I already face in Singapore. Ya know, I had almost forgotten how Singaporeans are like because hang out too much with my friends. Close-minded, judgemental schmucks. Hah. It's been QUITE A WHILE since I travelled with a monster bunch of Singaporeans. It is extremely different.
Anyway, I have absolutely no inspiration now to think of witty and subversive paragraphs, lined with thinly-veiled references to potty humour, so I think I will blog another time.
I am asked again, today, regarding my non-existant boyfriend.
By a taxi-driver.
GOD IS MOCKING ME. FREAKING MOCKING ME, MAN.
Well, I am now furiously packing (yeah, taking a break now) before flying to Italia tomorrow.
OH YOU LOWLY MORTALS, DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE MY EXCEPTIONAL ABILITY (which I suspect is of a divine nature) TO PACK LARGE AMOUNTS OF THINGS INTO A SMALL AMOUNT OF SPACE. TOMORROW, BEHOLD THE SIZE OF MY LUGGAGE! It is too beautiful. Even I marvel at my extraordinary ability - Praise the Lord!
Anyhow, there are certain things that I'm unhappy about. All I'm going to say is we are going to ultra-hip Italy looking like tramps. Humph. And I guess some people ain't so "open-minded" after all, huh??
Concert today was fine. I have never felt so tired and stoned during a concert before. But, yeah.
Ok, I have to now continue with my packing. Seems to me that all I ever do is to pack and unpack - Ah ha! Ah ha ha ha! Life's a bitch, init? You can't have it 5 ways. (Hmm, actually, you can - IF you know what I mean. Technically and theorectically, you actually CAN. Hmmm. This calls for further contemplations and meditations.)
I am now, also, in addition to my other outstanding capacities in various areas, an expert in sleeping on airplanes, regardless of size of seats, positions and people around you. You may consult me for a small fee.
My friend's the violinist, his brother's the guitarist, and their dad's a bassist. SO COOL RIGHT??? But yeah, hard life. Gigs are not fixed, and well, sometimes you have dry spells. But it's summer now so they've got quite a few gigs. Anyway, I'm supposed to help them find some gigs in Singapore (For some reason they really really REALLY LOVE Singapore. Especially Little India and Mustadfa Centre. In fact, they want to name their next child Mustafa. Hahaha!), so if anyone has contacts, please call me!
Well, I don't know why, but all them Hungarians have a strange, almost obsessive fixation with why I do not have a boyfriend. Not only Hungarians, even the nice Russians I met on the plane too. I am asked about 5 times a day, "SO, you have boyfriend in Szingapur???" (with an Eastern European accent). When I reply in the negative,they look extremely shocked, almost outraged that I had insulted their whole family or similar, and they go, "WHY NOT?!?!?!??! -pause- I see you nice girl, ya? Why no boyfriend???"
WELL, IF ONLY I KNEW???
And they best part - WAIT FOR IT:
"You no like Singapore boys? Singapore boys no good, yes? Yes, I hear Singapore girls say, Singapore boys no good."
HAHAHAHAHAH!! That was the best line I've ever heard.
"In Singapore, you no boyfriend. Maybe in Hungary, you have boyfriend, yes???"
HELL YEAH!
Well, anyway. The last night in Budapest was the ultimate man. Because of my tradition to buy back local beers from countries I visit, I bought a 6-pack of Borsodi. All them one-pinters. And I REALISED, I have no check-in luggage! Awesome! So I have to finish it all. That's six fucking pints, which is about 3 litres. Perched on the window ledge in underwear (I don't want my clothes to give me away, do I?), singing Hungarian folksongs, chain-smoking and glugging Borsodi beer. Oh, my body is a temple.
3 very long hours later, I had a massive, champion headache. I thought my head was going to explode.
Bloody shit beer.
Once, I got so confused (I was NOT drunk. I was CONFUSED.) I put the matchstick (ran out of lighter fluid) in my mouth and tried to light it with my ciggie, and becoming increasingly frustrated that it wouldn't light.
Ah, don't you just love the nightlife in Budapest.
The stripbars suck though. The dancers can't dance.
Right right, I must now go to eat my BAKCHORMEEEEEEEE which I have thought about for the past 5 days. Will upload the photos (I took some.) later, brain not functioning now and cannot figure out how to connect the bloody phone to the computer. Grrr. Grrrrrrr.
Szia! (You say, "See-ya!". It means hello/bye. Same as 'ciao'.)
That's all I can say man. Bloody aural so fucking difficult.
FAIL ALREADY FAIL ALREADY.
Have to notate a 10-bar classical sonata by ear, notate a 20th century work by ear, notate the outer lines and figured bass of a chorale by ear, notate 10 bars of weirdass intervals, and do some seriously crazy satb writing.
Notice that most things you have to do by ear.
Which is very (extremely) tricky and no easy feat for someone who does not have perfect pitch, and the only pitch I can sing is 'A' (thank you SYO).
Before today, I have never seen a chord that is VI642 or IV6#4 or I3. Using my extraordinary powers of deduction, I assumed that it is a combination of roman numerals and figured bass. However, upon working it out, the chords made as much sense to me as organic chemistry. They might as well asked me to do Ad-Math. I couldn't find anything to sharpen.
DAMN YOU MEP!!!!!
All those years of MEP (SIX to be exact) have not prepared me for such a blow. SO DEPRESSED. Feel like 5 kinds of shit. Remember kids, if you think you're having a bad day, I'm having a worse one.
AAARGH!!! I want to go home. Did I mention there is still fucking PART TWO to the aural? Yes, dear comrades! ORAL tasks. (Now now, what are you kids thinking?! BLASPHEMOUS HERETICS!) Awesome. I am going to make a fool out of myself. Well, at least I take comfort that my performing was good enough for the academy.
In unrelated news, I bumped into my cute senior today on the stairs! Hahaha! Like, HOW FATED CAN WE GET?!?!?!??! And he said hi to me. HAHAHA!
Ok ok whatever. I'm still faithful to my Andrei.
In second unrelated news, the ciggies here ain't cheap man. Condoms are not cheap either. Hmmm. AARGH.
I passed the double bass audition! I AM A GOD. HAHAHAH SUCK THAT BITCHES!
And I have a cute senior.
WOOHOO! I have NEVER (no offense hahaha) seen a cute double bassist (probably explains the painful and long dry spell of mine despite my best efforts, bloody dick).
Tomorrow: aural (written) and Friday: aural (spoken) and piano!
I HAVE TO PASS ALL THESE TO GET IN. Cock.
Went out with the Hungarian family today to Buda. SEHR SCHÖN. Not to mention I was served by the most handsome-looking waiter I've ever seen. Hahaha. He looked like he should be on the back of a magazine. HOTNESS.
Am going to the family's house tomorrow for lunch! Es ist sehr kuhl. I don't know why, but I keep breaking out in German here. Hah. I feel like I'm adopted or something man. Hahahaha.
Oh my god I have INSANE bakchormee, prata and sashimi cravings. Fuck the diet, I am eating all these once I touch down in Singapore.
Whoever said it is dangerous can eat their socks. I have never been in a country safer than this. Hahaha. It is awesome. Well. I have new friends: this Egyptian chap I met during my freaking 8-hour transit in Istanbul, a Korean guy in the dorm and a family of gypsies. ISN'T THAT EXCITING.
Well, audition was today. HOH MY GOD I NEVER FELT SO INSECURE MY WHOLE LIFE, even when confronted with stick-thin glamorous supermodels. There were like 8 bassists auditioning. And their basses were superb. This girl was freaking playing BOTTESINI ??? WTH. And my programme didn't even have much impressive high-register stuff. Within 10 minutes, I was tempted to leave. Only the thought that I had carried a 10kg instrument for 1.6km deterred me. YEAH I AM GOD. Hahaha. As if being probably the only Asian girl in the city was not enough, I had to play a hugeass instrument, which drew me many many stares from everyone. Now, that is not the kind of stares I want from men. Hah.
Well, I don't know how the audition went. It was alright, I guess. This is how it went:
I enter room to find an audience of about 15 people. FUCK. There were 2 bass professors, and about 8 double bass students from the Zeneakademia. Excellent.
Well, no choice, just start playing and smile with captivating sweetness. Played the full Eccles, about 1 page of Capuzzi (I DID NOT PLAY THE FUCKING SECOND MOVEMENT) and 3/4 of the Hrabe etude. I DID NOT PLAY THE FUCKING STORCH ETUDE WHICH I SPENT 5 DAYS PAINFULLY MEMORISING EVEN IN MY SLEEP. NABEI. Wah quite pissed off man. Ok, I am grateful in a way. But the wasted effort!!! ARGH! And we were all allowed to use scores! Which meant I memorised everything for nothing! GREAT!
So anyway, then there was the sight-reading, which was easy. Mozart's Symphony 40 third movement. HAH.
Of course I was quite irked that I was stopped in the middle of Capuzzi and all. That's a bad sign init? I don't know. But AFTER the audition, these 2 guys (bass students at the academy) came to me and were like, "oh so how did you hear about the academy, and which teacher would you prefer? Where did you study? Tokyo? (hahaha)" And after that another dude was like, "CONGRATULATIONS! THAT WAS V GOOD!" Seriously, I was rather frightened. Haha.
I was quite pleased after I recollected my senses.
But quick as fuck, I remembered that god loves to play tricks on me (don't even get me started), and after all these pleasantries, I will most probably receive a very friendly e-mail from the nice lady from the international department thanking me for my efforts and not to be disappointed (fucking RJ, I will always remember how you rejected me bastards!).
Oh well, there is still solfa-harmony and the compulsory piano.
Free day tomorrow. God knows what I'll do. Maybe I should go run naked through the Városligeti Park. Yes, I have indeed gone running, in a desperate bid to impress the men with my STUNNING physique (hahahahaha!!!), and it is a huge park.
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