I have impure thoughts about the Teletubbies.

baszdki (hahaha)

2009-06-15T15:55:00.001-07:00

have been thinking, since i categorise people according to which animals they resemble.

think i'm like a cat.

i like to sleep a lot, i am lazy, i like to roll around (in bed), i have feline eyes, i hate clingy people, i am very well capable of independence and surviving on the streets, i enjoy ear rubs, i like to run after furry/shiny things.

and i like to eat insects. (with chilli)

HAHA!

HAIR. on your butt cheeks.

2009-06-08T17:10:00.001-07:00

AND SO! WE WILL BE GOING TO ZAGREB, CROATIA FROM WEDNESDAY TO FRIDAY!!!

WOOOOHOOOO!!!!

AND AFTER THAT, LAKE BALATON!!!!!

parties parties and more parties. think i'm getting a beer belly soon.

so what's up....... i'm so freaking bored. i've had enough of being a prune! kinda miss asian boys, in the "they-don't-have-body-hair" sense. problem with caucasians (cock-asians) is that things like hairy chests, backs and asses exist. wtf, i didn't even know hairy asses exist. like, hair. on your butt cheeks. I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT IMAGINE. so what did i do?

I GOOGLED IT. google imaged. and all i can say is,

EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

there really is hair on the butt cheeks! ZOMG! HAHAAHAHAHAHAAHA!!! GROSS!!!!

i REALLY MISS clean-shaven armpits. :( and guys with no back or chest hair, but a (neat) line of hair running from the navel to down south. ACK! drives me nuts!!!! jesus christ. ehehehehehe, and now i will sleep.

I AM NOT JAPANESE!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-15T13:05:00.000-07:00

some issues on hand:

1. Blond Curly Hair Guy

2. Exams and stuff

3. Groin injury (not what you think)

4. Palinka Fesztival!

5. Summer Break

ok. let's get started!!!

1. BLOND CURLY HAIR GUY (i know his name, for your information)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAS A GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAARGHHHHH!

it all started with orchestral rehearsals. it's terrible cuz it's haydn (ugh) and it's 3 hours of hungarian babbling which i have to concentrate very hard in order not to fuck up like the last time. anyway, of course i was looking around (discreetly), trying to look awake and not bored. well, BLOND CURLY HAIR GUY (we'll call him adonis for now because his side profile looks like one of them greek statues) is probably the best-looking of the lot. well, if you like narcissitic kinds, or baby-faced kinds, then maybe not. but anyway, YEAH!!! anyway, having been a prune for some time, i allowed myself to submerge in lard blanket of self-reassurance that he is single and a very eligible bachelor. well waddyaknow, turns out he has a girlfriend, and it has been quite long, according to my sources. AARGGHHHGHGBSJNDXDW!! well, there's nothing to do in these circumstances but to wait. anyway, UPDATE!! today i saw him, and it turns out he has shaved off all that wonderful blond curly hair!! FFFFFFFFFFACK!! i think it's him anyway, but i don't know for sure. but yeah. ARGH! without the hair, adonis drops from a 7-pointer to 4.5-pointer. FAIL!!!!!

2. EXAMS!!!!! wah seh. so far so good. am left with my major and music history. nothing much to say here.............................. oh yeah! am going for a bass masterkurs in september in brno, czech republic. AWESOME MAN. so exciting, so exciting! you don't get that kind of shit in singapore, where can you go, malaysia (mas selamat)? indonesia? cambodia? that's the big difference.

3. GROIN INJURY. yeah. i got it from ashtanga yoga. heh. not what you think. 2 weeks of rest and oops! tricked into thinking i'm still as flexible as before. that was 1 week ago. still hurts now! went for class today, and the 90min sequence went so fast we finished in 60. halfway through i could feel my thighs trembling a little. oh well. it's fun. not being sarcastic.

4. Palinka Fesztival. well.... it's nice. but i still don't like palinka. vile stuff. it's like, the taste stays in your mouth even after one million cigarettes. very bad for health, palinka is. give me good old vodka anytime!

5. SUMMER BREAK! i don't know when i'll come back for sure, but i'll say some time in july. i actually like it here very much indeed, and would prefer to stay here. haha! once i go back it's like 24-hour custody/house-arrest. can't go out late, can't get drunk, can't smell like smoke, can't stay out all night without going home, etc, etc. i do, however, want to go to japan. pretty ironic that i don't miss singaporean food as much as japanese. unfortunately it's true.

6. OH OH! went for this absolutely fucking awesome kick-ass concert the other night. school brass ensemble playing musorgsky's pictures. FUCK ME, the trumpets sounded like tremolo cellos. gobsmacked.

yeah. think that's it for now. kinda got the munchies but dunno what to eat. will have some pasta i guess. SATURDAY IS TOMORROW!!! (HAH!! rubbish grammar!)

it's the end of march!

2009-03-23T05:38:00.000-07:00

damn fast. damn fast. it's already the end of march! spring is officially here! though i don't feel it. CANNOT wait to hang up my winter coat FOR GOOD. it's time for flip-flops! and singlets! and short shorts!! and bikinis!!

anyway i have decided to take a break from epl and well, just soccer in general. i always get ridiculously upset that it ruins my whole day and i can't practise well. or i get so happy i decide to take a break to celebrate and somehow the next thing i know, i wake up and i have a lesson. new resolution: i will be a mature, rational, level-headed being and not be easily affected by unworldy stuff.

ha ha.

well, it's been a marvellous semester so far (except for psychology lessons, which are immensely boring and rubbish). some brilliant concerts, now that it's the budapest tavaszi fesztival (spring festival). each week goes by so quickly i don't even realise it until the next one rolls in. TIME MANAGEMENT, TIME MANAGEMENT - oh, haven't heard that for a long time! yah. so... yah. will practise right after i've had my mid-day shit.

tmd

2009-03-14T07:39:00.000-07:00

wah, you know what i REALLY HATE and gets my blood boiling?

FUCKING (chinese) COMMENTATORS WHO TAKE A SIDE (which is not MY side) DURING THE MATCH. SON OF A BITCH. I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL NEVER WATCH THE MATCH ON A CHINESE CHANNEL EVER AGAIN. EVERY GODDAMN TIME I DO THAT WE LOSE.

and the freaking chinese accent pisses me off. grr. GRRR.

and i'm boycotting facebook until the whole HOO-HAA about this stupid match blows over. which should safely be about... monday? tuesday? grrrrr when we win the title i will go on about it for a month. hahahahahaa. but NO, we don't celebrate until we have it mathematically-secured. nananananananaa.

please help!

2009-03-11T06:25:00.000-07:00

ok guys. having a sort of pre-20s-life-crisis. will be eternally grateful if you can vote on this:

IS VAN DER SAR VERY UGLY??? :(

a) YES.
b) not ugly, but not handsome.
c) SIBEI CHUI AH!!!
d) don't care
e) HE'S SEX ON 2 FEET BABY!

at the rate i'm going i would have skipped right to #6 (see re: 17 feb post). and i am doomed! to wander the earth with a hideously-deformed bloke whom i think is a sex bomb, being mocked by others but oblivious to it.

VAN DER SAR HEHEHEHE <3

2009-03-09T13:30:00.000-07:00

dude man. it's march already.

which means......

SPRING IS COMING!!!!

6 months in socks and long-sleeved shirts is unnatural and wrong.

anyway, is van der sar really that hideous??? i have the tiniest of crushes on him, and i'm starting to question my taste in men.

bugger.

fucking february.

2009-02-21T11:49:00.000-08:00

yaaaaaaaah!! taaaaa fucking ma de. after wednesday, NEVER can i EVER listen to tchaikovsky's violin concerto without feeling nasty again. HORRRRRR-ENDOUS concert (for me). i don't even want to talk about what happened, but just that i am POSITIVE that no one will ever want me to play in their graduation concert ever again. AAARGH!!! every thing just keeps going wrong this month! february is a shit month!

and also! last thurs i became so dizzy during bikram, like, everything became pixel-lated and i couldn't hear anything. and i was quite hesitant to stop cuz it'll look like i'm so weak. but then i thought, what is more embarrassing, to appear weak, or to actually faint?? and so i lay down... for quite a while. yeah it was horrible!!

and i can't find a pianist for my chamber music! :(((( baaahhh mind in very bad state. AND TO ADD ON, fucking man utd conceded a goal to BLACKBURN?!?!!!! AARGH AARGH! bloody kuszczak!!! our clean sheet! after that i couldn't really watch the match, it was so painful!

AAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHH MUTHAFUCKING FEBRUARY! and YES, IT IS ABSOLUTELY FREEZING! whatever happened to spring?!!!!

and tanszaki (class concert) next tuesday. i am sure something will go wrong again. oh my ego, my ego!!! is being deflated faster than a balloon bursting.

v-day and stuff cuz i'm too lazy to think of a decent title.

2009-02-17T11:52:00.000-08:00

this' year's v-day was special. VERRRRY special.

i spent it HOT AND SWEATY WITH A FIT, MODEL-ESQUE DUDE IN A ROOM.

MAMMA MIA!

i'm talking bikram yoga class, of course. haha. whatever. but the teacher is really hot! couldn't concentrate very well that lesson... needless to say i kept falling over. hahaha.

anyhow, i think my expectations are slowly but surely degnerating:

1. do you know any handsome, rich, single and straight guy?

2. do you know any handsome, single and straight guy?

3. do you know any decent-looking, single and straight guy?

4. do you know any single and straight guy?

5. do you know any guys who are not gay?

6. do you know any guys (bisexuals welcome)?

shit man, at this rate......... i'm at somewhere between point no.2 and 3 right now. v bad.

well! i must congratulate myself again, for successfully dancing vigorously to house fucking music! for 2 whole hours! and it wasn't even good music. it sucked! but you know how energy is contagious. i wasn't even drunk cuz being a RESPONSIBLE AND DILIGENT STUDENT, i had some concert the next day so i CONSCIOUSLY LIMITED my drinks. wow, i'm so mature! hahahahahah.

and you know how some guys don't read body language? especially when you DO NOT want to dance with them... ok, UGLY NEVERMIND (that's being muthafucking gracious already), CANNOT DANCE SOME MORE! WALAU. totally hindering my own fabulousness! attempts to dance away discreetly were constantly foiled by the idiot's blocking my way. BASTARD. had to resort to stopping and standing very still against the wall for 5 minutes until he went away, then resuming, and stopping when he came back. was finally SAVED when a mate got me on stage. jesus christ. next time i will just punch the guy in the nuts. saves me lots of trouble. bugger. school parties are so weird. the dj sucked, he played R KELLY! I BELIEVE I CAN FLY! i was like, goddamn, is this PROM?!?!!!! hahahaha. anyway, the next day i awoke in state of panic cuz i realised maybe half the school saw me grinding away shamelessly... but ach, fuck it! maybe they think all asians look the same, like i do with angmohs - but they do, they do! sometimes i say hello to people i don't know and sometimes people i think i don't know say hello to me, and i have to go all pretentious and "OH! HEEEEELLO!", while desperately racking my brains to think of their names. and it doesn't help that a lot of people share the same name.

oh yes. have you ever seen or heard something so beautiful your heart aches? yeah. i had heart-ache twice in a day on monday. first was tchaikovsky's violin concerto... i luuurrrrrve the second movement (hah, never thought you'd hear me saying something like that eh? i usually hate all second movements.). it actually brought tears to my eyes. though of course i didn't cry. and next was bottesini's concerto #2, 2nd movement. zomg, i love the part where the orch strings tremolo and there's a rising scale on the solo bass. AHHHHH my heart was so painful then! couldn't breathe. stupid bottesini, he shoulda developed more on that part. what a short climax. like want to cum but only cum halfway. asshole.

but most of you guys probably won't know what i'm talking about.

anyhow, that's it for this week! i'm so shagged every day i just plonk into bed and pass out. though strangely when i wake up i'm still as tired as ever.

i am a master michelin-star chef.

2009-02-07T10:43:00.000-08:00

tried out BIKRAM yoga this week.

WAHHHH, shiokeneh. i prefer the ashtanga sequence (feels more hardcore and i like inversions), but i like the sweat in bikram. at the end of 90 minutes in 40 degrees celsius, walau, machiam like just emerge from swimming pool. everything wet. like, i can wring about 1 litre of sweat from my clothes man. DAMN SHIOK! always feel a bit thinner and stronger after that. hahaha! and i've been mistakened as a dancer today, OH, SO FLATTERED! though technically i WAS. THANK YOU, MOTHER, FOR THE 10 YEARS OF FORCED-BALLET AND 5 YEARS OF GYMNASTICS UNDER HORROR RUSSIAN COACH.

hehe! very happy! is this what everyone has been saying about endorphins? i feel like i can do anything. VERY dangerous feeling, as might (and usually i do) get carried away and imagine self to possess balls that i do not in reality, or else balls that i only possess after consuming the best part of a bottle of wine.

OH YES! WHICH REMINDS ME! SHIIIIIIT! bass concert on 24 feb! FAAAARRRK. i don't actually mind playing as much as i do memorising. because NOTHING EVER GOES RIGHT when i have to memorise something. ugh! hateful brain!

talking to yourself is the first sign of madness.

2009-01-30T16:16:00.000-08:00

i feel so happy recently that i've begun talking to myself out loud a lot. i have no idea why i'm so happy, because NOTHING happened. but it's good! POSITIVE ENERGY. POSITIVE THINKING. POSITIVE LIFESTYLE.

I AM SO HAPPY I HAVE DECIDED THAT I WILL CLEAN MY ROOM, PRACTISE BASS, GO SHOPPING TOMORROW AFTER YOGA, BAKE A CAKE AND MAKE AN IMPRESSIVE DINNER. yay! feeling very jolly.

and shit! just remembered i have solfege on monday. haven't even TOUCHED the damn solfege books for the whole month... i am fucked!

but still quite happy. teehee!

i like to wear thigh-high socks! HAHAHA

2009-01-29T04:34:00.000-08:00

wahhhhh almost rolled down the stairs today. thanks a lot ah. besides all the grievios bodily harm, i also have very the extremely bad diahorrea. like DAMNNN high-level, 24hr stomachache. basket, don't know who curse me until like that. CHINESE NEW YEAR TOO OK!! anyho, my knee is better already, albeit the damnnnnnn GI-----NORMOUS blue-black. i clean it with iodine twice a day. :D what's a little pain, women go through a lot more when giving birth. not that i will. hope i can make it for ashtanga tomorrow and saturday. we're gonna do the FULL primary series before coach leaves for india, and i'm ma get my thang on!

actually my hipbone hurts more than my knee. maybe i cracked something there.

i actually feel like going on a shopping spree (although i'm pooooor), but the thought of having to try clothes on whilst juggling winter coat and bad knee and pants scares me back into my duvet, cowering and chugging beer down. OH YES! I CAN BUY SINGHA BEER HERE!! JOLLY GOOD! there's a thai shop down my street and i now have supplies of curry paste, beansprouts, chilli padi, lemongrass, thai eggplants and a variety of asian sauces. MAMMA MIA!!!

things not to do when drunk.

2009-01-27T11:19:00.000-08:00

#1: don't race your friends when drunk.

i know it's hard to resist, because everything seems like an EXCELLENT idea when you're drunk. hell, i'll even sell my first-born son for another bottle of beer. "a beer, a beer! a son for a beer!" hahaha. well, anyway, what happens when you do that is that you FALL DOWN. ungracefully.

so yesterday i was all feeling nicely-tipsy and VERY energised. as mentioned before, i had a lot of pent-up energy in me lately. so i decided it would be JOLLY FUN to race my friend down the empty street. 5 SECONDS into the race, i trip, and i fell like in SLOW-MOTION. SERIOUSLY. i remember thinking, "oh.... shit.... i'm falling......."

and the next thing i knew, i landed FACE-DOWN FLAT on the cold pavement. i think i lay there motionless for about 5 seconds thinking, "did i just fall? shit it's damn cold" while the rest of the gang ran up to me. so despite all the thick winter dress, i tore my leggings, smashed my knee (the same one that i landed on when i flew off the bike and was lame for about 3 months), banged up my elbow and hipbones and scratched my stomach. i didn't even know i landed so damn hard on my hipbones until this morning. so now my left knee has swelled into the size of a pomengranate and is looking absolutely stunning:

i'm just glad i don't drive. REMEMBER KIDS, DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE!!

sometimes i think jesus really hates me.

words of wisdom

2009-01-22T11:27:00.000-08:00

boys...............

are nothing but trouble.

why bother?

forgive me father, for i have sinned.

2009-01-16T10:53:00.000-08:00

i swear to god i will GODDAMN kick you in the fucking NUTS.

grr. GRR. GRRRRRRR!

i need to fucking PUNCH someone. anyone. or at least violently manhandle them. or whatever that inflicts pain onto a fellow being. but not TOO violent... all the blood will be hell to clean up. and i also do not want to be sued in court. so...

maybe it's time to switch from yoga to something more aggressive. like boxing, or muay thai (i swear i will take it up someday before i'm 25), or football. american or soccer, both sound good.

zhhhhhhhh. feeling vexed, miffed and upset for no apparent reason. fucking period. actually maybe there's a reason, but at this stage, i am too crossed to rack my brains to dig it up. so i will conveniently blame it on menstrual hormones... which, if the believers are right, are caused by GOD... so i will blame the asshole.

forgive me father, for i have sinned.

but it is still your fault.

i shot you in the ovaries. sorry.

2009-01-14T14:51:00.000-08:00

TIP #1: DO NOT DO HEADSTANDS WHEN HUNGOVER WITH MASSIVE HEADACHE. or any kind of inversions, for that matter....

also, beware of the ambush hangover, which starts out with one feeling jolly good and lovely in the morning, but strikes 6 hours later without warning. the fucker.

anyho, SUCK MY UNITED BALLS, CHELSKI! (and arse-anal and liverfools.) the fergie is coming, THE FERGIE IS COMING, THE FERGIE IS COMING!!!! we are second placed now, and only a mere 2 points away from the top. THE CUP IS OURS - FO SHURE!!!

v happy.

but not-so-happy in a couple of areas... bah. must be those hateful pre-menstrual hormones. can't stand being all daft and sensitive all of a sudden. i'd rather be a jerk. and suddenly i'm watching - HORROR OF HORRORS - korean rom-com drama serials! AND ENJOYING IT VERY MUCH! WHAT THE FUCK!! WHUUUUUUUT DAAAA FAAARRRRKKK!!!!!!??!?!? cannot believe self. am certain that self is not in right state of mind and is going mad.

but i still hate (very the extremely) those weepy tearjerker movies/dramas about girls-who-are-terminally-ill-but-still-decides-to-fucking-"live-life-to-the-fullest"-and-dies-in-the-arms-of-weeping-lover. i BLOODY HATE the term, "live life to the fullest". what the fuck! life is full enough for me as it is, and i am not going to make myself busier than hell. bah. and those shows about "true love" this, "true love" that. RIDICULOUS. bunch of rubbish. i would rather frighten/disgust myself to death with horror/gore/slasher flicks than bore myself to death with romcoms/chick/lovey-dovey movies.

ok. that's it for now. feeling very dissatisfied, pissed-off, difficult and generally very negative. well, at least the ambush hangover has worn off.

i like bounty bars, do you?

2009-01-02T05:36:00.000-08:00

new year reso-fucking-lutions!!!!

#1. I WILL NOT LOOK AT BOYS.

#b) I WILL LEARN TO (do something) SO GOOD YOUR ANKLES SHIVER.

#iii. I WILL LEARN TO (do something) OF A (something) QUALITY.

#4) I WILL LEARN TO COOK SIMPLE YET IMPRESSIVE DISHES.

#v. I WILL PRACTISE MORE AND HARDER GODDAMMIT!!

#f) I WILL FUCKING SWEAR LESS. or at least more gracefully and more ladylike-ly.

hum, i think 6 resolutions are enough, no?

very good start to 2009! the new year looks v promising. :D v happy and contented.

YAY!

don't push it hun.

2008-12-29T06:46:00.000-08:00

word of the day: mousse. i really like this word. there's something so alluring and seductive about it. mousse. anyway.

it is SO stressful when everyone practise 8 hours and you can only churn out a paltry 3 hours, 4 at tops (and even that is pushing it).

in other news: i have NEVER felt so DOMESTICATED in my whole life! ohmygod! v bad. but somehow dish washing and cleaning up the flat is strangely therapeutic...

the GREAT thing about living in europe is, you get to watch epl matches at SANE hours! :D like today's match at 2000 (british time), i get to watch at 2100 (hungarian time). fantastic, innit? just like a good bedtime story. well, good if we win, in any case.

time to make new year reso-fucking-lutions!! one of my favourite activities, because i take a sort of perverse pleasure in breaking each and every one of those.

i saw mommy kissing santa claus and more.

2008-12-28T10:51:00.001-08:00

am i the only one who never realised that the "santa claus" that "mommy" was kissing under the mistletoe was actually DADDY dressed up as santa claus??

i always thought that it was a dirty song...

hahaha!

updates time. or maybe not.

2008-12-18T05:28:00.000-08:00

so, updates huh... i'm not one to update with what i've been doing every day or night. szerintem, why publish accounts or pictures of yourself in unflattering drunken states, semi-nude or otherwise? not to say that i've been doing that, i'm quite well-behaved generally.

anyway, i've been going to lotsa concerts, which are absolutely FABULOUS! the orchestras are (most of the time) SOLID. SOLID brasses (always orgasmic), SOLID BASSES. so what have i learnt so far...

1. if i ever have a child (god - if he's there - forbid), i would never allow it to have hideous centre-parting hair. or unwashed hair weakly disguised by using lots of gel to sleek it back. which seems to be THE fashion here.

which explains why i am still very much contented in my strange, sexless state. feel very much like some pre-historic, single-celled, placid sea organism floating around.

2. woodwinds are still (szerintem) the most sissy of the orchestra. trumpets and trombones are the best. and basses of course. most macho. hahaha!

3. i have learnt to eat tomatoes raw, and have learnt to love it.

piano class concert tomorrow. i am quite sure i will ruin the whole bloody thing despite my hours of hard practise because of a panic attack. even thinking about it now makes my balls shiver. argh. i am not fucking it up again.

exams week is almost over! if you're interested, let's take a look at what i had to sing during nepzene (folkmusic):

jolly good. and a piece i'm working on for bass - looks all complicated and pro:

in other news: am quite fed-up with being patronised. I HATE PEOPLE WHO PATRONISE ME. don't you fucking do it.

and i ABSOLUTELY HATE being called a "nice" girl. what the fuck is that?! "NICE", INDEED! frankly, i'd rather be called a bitch than "nice". "nice" is just so non-descript, characterless and flacid. boring. i'd take it as a very big insult to be called "nice". i'm sure there are more adjectives in your vocabulary. like, "fat", "ugly", "mean", "disgusting"... just to name a few.

oh wells. time to get on with harmony work.

a birth is a tragedy.

2008-11-28T12:29:00.000-08:00

there is so much tragedy in a birth, don't you think?

when you come to think of it.

because we all know what comes inevitably.

the human body is a treacherous one.

we are all traitors to ourselves.

what keeps us alive will eventually kill us.

a birth is a funeral,
celebrated 80 years earlier,
mourned 80 years later.

in other news, great koncert! it's over! woohoo! no orchestra (i hope) for the next few weeks! fucking starving. it's the weekend!! it's the end of my month of sobriety!!!

springrolls and curry and fishing

2008-11-21T13:47:00.000-08:00

during solfege lesson (which inexplicably involves some minutes of talking about food and spices hahaha):

laszlo: ... so do they have a lot of boats in singapore?
me: huh?
laszlo: you know, those boats in the river....
me: uh... yeah..... for tourists....
laszlo: and people live on the boats? and fish?
me: huh???
laszlo: fishing is a popular job in singapore right? and in hong kong too? people earn their living as fishermen??
me: HAHAHA! 100 years ago!!! HAHAHA!!!
laszlo: OH SORRY, but you know, i've always thought that... yeah, nevermind.

HAHA! it's so funny the concepts and images people have of singa-bloody-pore.

well, food is a great topic, like how we spent about 10 mins discussing the origins of springrolls (!!!) and what kind of sauces we eat them in... or curry and indian spices...

lessons in the lisztc academy never fail to deliver.

a fag after a shit is very satisfying indeed.

2008-11-16T08:39:00.000-08:00

the good thing about fall and winter is that one does not have to shave one's legs and underams or bikini wax, because no one (well unless one hooks up but that is very unlikely in my case, but this is too complicated to deconstruct in a blog) is going to see one in one's state of undress or negligible dress.

which is why i often go for yoga and pilates with a crashing realisation that ONCE AGAIN I FORGOT TO SHAVE MY ARMPITS GODDAMMIT! so embarrassing and unaesthetic!

but then again, who cares about hairy armpits when i fart in class? (but no smell ah!!! NO SMELL!!!)

anyway we are all ladies so we understand our mutual plight of hairy armpits. if god (well, holding on to the popular belief that one exists) intended for us to have clean armpits, he wouldn't have given us hair there, would he? unless he's a particularly malicious one (yes that is very convincing looking at the state i am in) who deliberately laughs at women frantically veeting our bodily hair.

or maybe it's just an extension of the punishment for eve having eaten the forbidden apple.

OAP. old and putrid.

2008-11-13T12:41:00.000-08:00

if one drew a graph of my practising hours for piano and bass, one would assume that i major in piano and took the bass for a minor.

dude that is not good. NOT GOOD.

wrists are feeling queer now after countless hours (as usual, Panic day before piano lesson) of mendelssohn's finger-gymnastics. damn that fella, it's so difficult but I'M GONNA MASTER IT NO MATTER WHAT!

it's so strange, that i'm falling in love all over again (YES IT CONCERNS MEN!) with people i never used to like (a strong, passionate dislike would be accurate).

wait for it.... wait for it...

the 2 big 'M's. mendelssohn and mozart.

seems like the guys i ever fancy are either dead or impossible to attain (example, tony jaa, george clooney, etc.etc.).

huh. huh.

even pre-pubescent little boys and girls (and yes i do, in fact, know of such (oh god, i can't say it) c-cou--ples personally) are getting together in relationships! i mean like, has the girl even got her first period yet?! does she have pubic hair?!!?!?!? that is UNACCEPTABLE!!! UNACCEPTABLE!!! my biological clock is ticking, and i feel like an old and putrid lady who has a nest of cats at home and spends her time watching re-runs of eastenders. make that an impotent, incontinent, old and putrid hag.

maybe i should consider being a bisexual, because as they say in 'little britain', "at my age, i can't afford to be too picky."

AARGH! SURELY i am better than that????

god is ferociously mocking me.

FEAR IS GOOD. FEAR ENHANCES PLEASURE.

2008-11-11T08:42:00.000-08:00

i realised my philosophy lessons deal with sex a lot. haha! more priceless quotes from today's session:

"for the cynics, they live in the city, amongst the people... amongst NICE GIRLS.... but not to make love! maybe some cynic women live amongst NICE BOYS... but not to make love!"

"what is happiness? (re: hedonist school) to eat good food, to drink good wines, to make love, to have sex... EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE!!!!"

"aristippos like to eat, to drink, to have sex... NOTHING ELSE!"

"he was a REAL greek playboy! yes, he does what playboys today do...."

"for epicurus, we have to check our desires... aristippos will feel like having sex, and so, he goes AND HAVE SEX NOW!!!!!" (that was kind of shouted at us, so i really burst out laughing)

yes. philosophy's quite a sexy subject.

no one can stare like the english - bland, remote, faintly curious.

2008-11-08T04:24:00.000-08:00

for all his stupidity and shit, sometimes i really feel sorry for george w. bush. poor man is the butt of all jokes, even though he did deserve it.

I AM ALSO VERY UPSET AND CROSS AT THE BLOODY SHITTERS AT ARSEANAL. AAARGHHH!! fear not, we shall see who comes out on top next year!! it's still early. be still, my heart. argh!!!!!!!!!!! so annoying.

i have no shackles, except incompetence.

2008-11-02T11:09:00.000-08:00

i am an awesome cook. (not being sarcastic here)

my talent is boundless.

FINALLY the week is starting! the weekends seem so draggy now that i am too tired/lazy/grumpy/stressed to dress up and party. and i can't sleep at night, waking at up irregular intervals until i finally have to haul myself out of bed at 9am to go for lessons. pfft. (HELLO, i haven't used this word for a long time! if it's even considered a word.)

god i love margaret atwood. everytime i finish a novel, i'm like, "HUHHH. HUHHH. WHAT THE HECK?" and it's just so good i'm addicted. i'm a pretty obsessive person who is easily addicted, but also easily bored. so maybe after a month i'll hate atwood. it's the same with boys. unless?... hmmm.

why are you so goddamn competitive. it fucking stresses me out. because i am too, so i need to be on top and one step ahead. it's in my genetic chinese stock. burr.

BOLLOCKS!! (love this word)

some people are just easier to love than others.

2008-11-01T11:39:00.000-07:00

mmmm, just had a box of sushi, home-delivered. a tad expensive, but i couldn't take it no more. i'm still goddamn hungry and lusting so bad for that tuna sashimi (vöröstonhal). but i can't afford it. :( i'll just have to wait till christmas or something and order a party set (which i am sure i can devour alone). fish is so good. so good.

ta ma de!!! i want to order another set!!! DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if you're a ladies' man, i'm a men's lady. but that doesn't make sense grammatically. hmmm.

2008-10-31T11:19:00.000-07:00

YESSSS. i'm flexible and strong, like a grass that bends in the wind and.... shit.

but yes, i've been going for yoga every other day (cuz i need 1 day to chill those aching limbs). hardcore, spartan regime man. and i fucking love it! i love the ache i get after every session, just like the way i love cutting my nails too deep or plucking out hairs from my arm or tasting the blood in my mouth (god i sound like some sado-masochist here. but really, i am not. not an avid fan of pain, but just enough to make me feel alive). am becoming quite the contortionist indeed. brings back memories from 10 years ago...

soon i'll be able to fall asleep while doing a hand/shoulder/head/finger-stand! (right.)

anyway, i was just thinking, how come is it that guys who sleep around are called "ladies' man" and all sorts of ego-boosting chauvinistic shit, while girls who do are called "whores" and "sluts"? that's not very fair or nice, is it? it's quite mean, really. so much for gender equality. while i am very aware that they are words such as "manslut" and the such, these still draw on the origin of the female-degrading words. bloody male-dominated world.

i think that's a side-effect of too mch margaret atwood's feminist writings. but her novels are so good. "alias grace" made me cry and i'm working on "oryx and crake" now. thank god for second-hand english bookstores. come to think of it, there are many second-hand english things stores here. hmm.

do i panic too much?

she's not on diet coke, she's on the coke diet.

2008-10-27T08:27:00.000-07:00

woke up at 5am, and all i could hear was my heart beating into my head at an unnaturally fast rate, and the room was spinning and i was so dehydrated but i couldn't move. it's the worst kind of hangover, when you need 20 mins to crawl up into a sitting position, then another 20mins to actually put your feet on the floor. i think the beer we drank had washing detergent in it man, that's why. cuz we only drank like 2 pints.

night of excess consumption and vice.

dude.

but i'm going for yoga today - so begins my spartan health regime of sobriety and purity!

YEAH RIGHT... still have 3 cans of beer in the fridge begging to be drunk....

AA

2008-10-18T10:41:00.000-07:00

good god, last night i had a dream where i was drinking away like a raging alcoholic.

wtf!

when i woke up (you know, that state of limbo where reality and dreams co-exist), i was like, did i really just have xxx pints of kaisers'? and dude i don't even drink kaisers'! my tipple's arany aszok.

maybe it's a divine sign...

whatever, i'll meditate on that once i've finished this pint of arany aszok.

naughty or nice?

2008-10-16T13:50:00.000-07:00

zongora lesson tomorrow.

freaking out...

freaking out....

FREAKING OUT!!!!!!

tried to get a practise room today, BUT NO, karma opposes me. what did i do, WHAT DID I DO?!?!!?!? i've been good, wholesome and sober this week. :(

because i'm so bored, i've decided on my halloween costume! HAHAHA. (not anything slutty) but i'll need to find someone (a d-u-d-e) to go as my counterpart. HMMMM.

ben affleck?

HAHAHA!!!

can't wait!

still freaking out.

i have no money for cigarettes. :(

2008-10-14T14:18:00.000-07:00

i have to clean out a maggot/parasite-infested fridge.

yay!

more quotes from my magyar philosophy/hungarian culture prof:

"now, jános pannonius likes girls, and he had a lot of lovers. like a whore. you know what a whore is? a whore is a lover of everyone."

"god created the first man, adam. WHY? to be happy!"

"MONKS WITH GUNS!"

"eros (the god of love) was a crazy white boy!"

"socrates was the fattest, ugliest philosopher, but he had the most beautiful BOYLOVER. -stunned silence- yes, you know, boylover. -giggling- in the ancient greece, it was normal to have this, uh, paedophilic relations. mostly old men and young boys. -i am here outrightly laughing like an asshole- but sometimes, it is not, uh, SEXUAL. it is just a very deep feelings between the teacher and the student. -awkward silence- ANYWAY, BACK TO ARISTOTLE!"

that fella is the funniest professor i have. his lessons brightens up my day.

my psychology prof is pretty funny as well... in strange, bizarre sort of way.

hmmm. hungarians are pretty funny people.

"a whore is a lover of everyone!" - hungarian culture professor.

2008-10-13T11:45:00.000-07:00

oh god. so tired. so tired. an eis bier with a fag after 10 hours of lessons is just SO TASTY and makes everything a bit better.

i think i should cut down... becoming a beer addict.

hungarian professors say the darnest things! i'm collecting all the quotable quotes and compiling them into a book, which i shall publish and then make lots of money.

can't wait for tomorrow's lessons!

i can't STAND it, but i want it SO BAD. ugh. dude. i should do more constructive things, like practise, to take my mind off useless, extraneous matters. or alternatively i can drink oneself into oblivion.

hm.

i hate you with a nearly unspeakable hatred.

2008-10-09T11:24:00.000-07:00

fucking hell.

i fucking HATE cooking.

i'm never cooking again.

mothercock.

except instant noodles, which i have for lunch and dinner every day.

I BLOODY HATE COOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EPICURUS PWNS PLATO HANDS DOWN!

2008-10-08T11:11:00.000-07:00

ha ha ha, was listening to jay chou intently and i couldn't pick out a single word that i could understand. all sounded like hilarious, vulgar gibberish to me.

anyway, pardon my youthful arrogance, but i think PLATO IS ABSOLUTE RUBBISH.

RUBBISH.

there. what the fuck was that about his "theory of forms"?? psuedo-religious shit.

i was accosted by a couple of jehovah's witness preachers today. dude. just read mark twain's critics of the bible. i can answer every question you have.

as epicurus (AT LAST! a SENSIBLE GREEK PHILOSOPHER!) put it, "Is [God] willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then is he impotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then is he malevolent. Is he both able and willing? whence then is evil?"

with this, i take my leave.

always remember "TNT" - TITS AND TEETH!!!

2008-10-06T12:04:00.000-07:00

i just had to get this down, there's a dude who looks like ben affleck in my orchestra, and there's this guy who looks like marlon kittel. hehe!

LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THAT DUDE. needless to say i was shamelessly ogling away (inconspicuously i hope).

(don't know about the biceps though. i doubt the guy has the bod. BUT STILL HOT! (from neck up. HAHA!)

YES EXACTLY! GENAU. i was like, HELLOOOOOOO BEAUTIFUL!!! hot hot hot!!!

DUDE! then WHY do i always get picked up by construction workers?!?!?!?!!!!! or random guys on the street with unknown infestations of venereal diseases!!!!???? TAAAAA FUCKING MA DE!!!! god's little punches at me!!!

cold turkey isn't as delicious as it sounds.

2008-10-04T04:15:00.000-07:00

the problem with caucasian men is that they are all so hairy.

not a big fan of hair.

but they are all so old-school gentlemens! (well, at least in budapest. my polish flatmates informs me that it isn't so in kracow, or other western european countries) that is very charming indeed.

but i'm not in the mood nowadays. don't know why. maybe too stressed.

ah wells. gotta go practise solfege and analyse my piano pieces. szia!

you're my aaaaaaaangel

2008-09-29T11:46:00.000-07:00

10 straight hours of lessons from 10a.m. to 8p.m.

that's conservatory life for you.

and tomorrow's schedule ain't better.

fucking exhausted.

and every other break you have to practise.

i'm a-living on my nicotine kicks.

no more hipbones disappearing into rolls of fat!!!

bitch bitch bitch pitch

2008-09-27T05:40:00.000-07:00

i'm living the Musician Diet: bread, ham, alcohol and cigarettes.

school is tough. (mozart is rubbish.)

anyway, haha, something amusing at yesterday's harmony lesson:

-czech student takes out dictionary-

laszlo (prof): which word do you not understand?

czech: BITCH.

laszlo: BITCH? (a bit too loudly) OH you mean PITCH???

hahahahaha of course i was the one laughing away like mad. cuz they were like, "BITCH BITCH BITCH" like as if it was the most innocent word in the world...

okok. anyway, VADIM REPIN and ZOLTAN KOCSIS were FUCKING AWESOME yesterday. we were sitting (for free) at the stage (like in esplanade the area for the chorus on the stage), and the PURE ENERGY that we felt was like... numbing? i don't know how else to put it, but nobody in the audience moved. and my leg fell asleep and i got pins and needles. it was BRILLIANT. i looooove repin.

so after that my flatmates and this belgium dude came back to our flat and we bought wine (cheap but good) and some beer... and yah. just get high and talk about rubbish things (hahaha) and went to sleep. a relatively quiet evening, i say. but stil hungover today. na bei.

hungry but nothing to eat..... i'm going out for a breather and to book practise room for tomorrow.

"drawing on my fine command of the english language, i said nothing." - robert benchly.

2008-09-26T01:22:00.001-07:00

you know what irks me most ?

when people think you can't speak english very well and go REAL SLOW on you, just because you are asian.

and i'm like, WHA-AH? i'm a NATIVE SPEAKER, and for god's sake i taught english to highschool students???

humph.

now i know what it feels like to be a minority.

i'm going down the stairs on a white line..........

2008-09-24T12:02:00.000-07:00

most of the guys here are good-looking.

sehr gut!

hmmm, but would you rather have a boyfriend who is:

1. hot face but not-so-hot body (e.g. too thin, pudgy)

or

2. face that is not-so-hot (e.g. looks like 5 kinds of shit, lost a battle with a 10-wheeler) but extremely hot body???

this is a good question that requires in-depth analysis.

anyhow, budapest is a great city. ALFRED BRENDEL is freaking playing tomorrow at the academy! and vadim repin on sat.... there's bartok, stockhausen, mozart's requiem.....

orgasmic.

loveitloveitloveit!!!!!!!!!

2008-09-24T01:01:00.001-07:00

i love it here in budapest.

i freaking love the zeneakademia.

i've never practised so much in my whole life. every day! and i haven't even had a lesson with my prof yet for my major.

there are free concerts every week, free operas.

there is inspiration in the air! i love itloveitloveit!!!

and every weekend we go out and get drunk and crunk.

THIS is DA LIFE.

you're in the jungle baby!

2008-09-23T02:06:00.000-07:00

you know, i haven't spoken singlish for such a long time.

in fact, i've developed an annoying american accent (sometimes oscilliates with my british one), because people here seem to understand it better.

or else it's gonna have to be that european-english one... which i'm embarrassed to use cuz i am most obviously NOT caucasian in any way.

hmmmmm. i need to start practising my hungarian soon.... cuz orchestra's in hungarian and when the conductor goes on one of his stories i can't understand totally. it would have been fun if i could speak hungarian. hummmm.

right, have to go for cultural studies now. and later, philosophy and general music history. you know, i have to take FOLK MUSIC. goodness. god knows how it'll be like. BUSY BUSY BUSY!

ciao!

TAAAAA FUCKING MA DE!!!!!!!!!

2008-09-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

TAAAAAAA MA DE!!!*

*insert a multitude of swear words

fucking false alarm haunted me for 16 fucking days.... and god fucking hates me cuz before that he gave me all the telling signs..... v pissed off and v cross.

tamade tamade TA FUCKING MA DE!

i am going on a diet.

hungarian conquest #1!!!!

2008-09-20T05:31:00.000-07:00

Went to Gödör Klub again yesterday with Karolina, my flatmate. There was like, some gathering of deaf people and everyone spoke sign language. Kinda weird. But anyhow, it was a good night. Met 3 charming Hungarian dudes and it was really funny cuz they only spoke a little English, but we managed to communicate.

Well, it was a good night because it was a FREE night. As in, they bought our beer and god knows how many pints I had, because they kept bloody refilling my glass. So it was like beer heaven cuz the glass was never empty. Hahaha. Arany Ászok - very good beer. The best thing about the Hungarian night scene is you can smoke indoors in pubs and clubs! So I demolished a whole pack yesterday. V bad. OH oh, and there wasn't cover charges so WOOHOO! Well, went to some club after that, and it was good. Heh heh. After 2 weeks of sobriety and saintliness, it was liberating.

Anyhow, won't elaborate on that, but I'm still a tad hungover. Burr. And it's such a nice day today with sun (it's mostly grey and drizzly like bloody London now), but I can't enjoy it because all I want to do is to lie in bed with a hot bag of chips and eat away the hangover.

Well, guess my hipbones are now comfortably cushioned in rolling waves of beer -fat.

NA BEI.

fatty bom bom

2008-09-17T13:14:00.000-07:00

It is very bad that school is so slow in starting.

I have nothing to do except to go online, eat and sleep.

My hipbones are disappearing....

Disappearing into rolls of fat that is.

Na bei.

mi piace italiano!

2008-09-15T10:00:00.001-07:00

Love it when Aranka (my landlady) cooks. Orgasmic I tellya! Have learnt some secrets of her authentic Hungarian cuisine.

Anyways, YAY I've got a hot Italiano flatmate! Nice work! See, I always have some kind of strange affinity with Italian men. Heh. But then I don't know bout living in the same flat; I'm always strutting aroud indecently-dressed, for what is point of an apartment if not to feel at home? Hmmm. But anyway it's cold now. Freaking weird weather. In one day it changed from 33 degrees heat to 10 degrees freezing cold. Nabei.

Aiyuh, nothing's confirmed yet so I'm still bumming around waiting for school to start proper. Burr. Hungry.

Ooh ooh, the Fresher's Ball is coming up! What to wear? What to wear???? EXCITING YEAH!

maybe that's all just part of your imagination.

2008-09-11T11:50:00.000-07:00

Just had the most excellent dinner of my life. Aw c'mon, it's so good I just HAVE to blog about it.

I was nearly in tears at this meal; it was so transcendental, so heavenly, so out of this world... (hahaha, reminds me of Lit Paper 4, IMAGINING OTHER WORLDS. shit paper which gave me hell)

My nice landlady cooked this awesome meal. MMMMMM. I've never eaten so much salad in my life - it was THAT good. And I hate vegetables, so that should say something. Each course of the meal was like an explosion of flavours in my mouth. It's salty... no it's sour.... no, is that onions? Mmm cheese and broccoli... Reis und fisch... Wie kochen Sie die Reis? Es ist schmecken gut!

Being a greedy bastard, I of course stuffed myself so full now I kinda have indigestion.

OH YES! I've realised that the best solution to constipation is drinking large quantities of beer. GUARANTEE that you will shit in 24 hours! So... yeah.

Szia! Hogy vagy?

2008-09-11T08:27:00.000-07:00

Everything's cool so far. Went to this really really REALLY COOL music club last night (Godor Klub), and they had this jazz performance. Well, they have live music every night, and yesterdays just BLEW ME AWAY. I was like, HOLY SHIT. The bass was AWESOME, the drummer was marvellous and the sax was BRILLIANT. Multiphonics and all.

Not to mention the cheap alcohol.

Anyway, I fucking hate cooking. I try to microwave everything, but my fucking sausage exploded in the microwave. Almost chopped off my finger. Haven't even started school and if my finger's gone I can fly back to Singapore and collect disability pension. Hahaha. Not that we have anything like that. Or work off the rest of my miserable life at MacDonald's, eventually rising to the post of Floor Manager.

CHAPTER ONE.

2008-09-09T04:15:00.000-07:00

I'M IN BUDAPESTTTTTTTTT.

9 more days until I'm totally free.

Ugh.

It's like a forced cold turkey detox. I am bloody grumpy and cross right now, don't fuck with me.

Shouldn't have left for Budapest so early. DAMN.

My holidays: 23.10 - National Holiday
Fall Holiday: 24 - 26.10 (hahaha, 3 days.)
Last teaching day: 20.12

Anyway, I'm in my new, 3-bedroom, 2-toilet apartment, which is just across my school. Shiok. Lazy bums like me don't have to walk too much.

I'm too tired and pissed-off and cranky and everything to blog. I NEED A GODDAMN FUCKING FIX! ARGH!

LANDMARK DAY!

2008-09-01T09:03:00.000-07:00

Today is an historic and joyous day.

I have metamorphosed into a C cup! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

AWESOMENESS!!!!! 'Tis the right size, just nice. Don't grow any bigger and don't grow any smaller.

HURRAH!!!!!

Where do we go now????

2008-08-31T10:57:00.001-07:00

One can describe my current activity as "furiously packing and trying to squeeze all worldly possessions into 2 luggages and 2 duffel bags and not really succeeding; all the while taking swigs from bottle of umeshu as an act of panic-displacement".

Taking a break now. ARGH ARGH. I have so many gorgeous pairs of shoes and bags, I am DEFINITELY UNABLE to choose which to bring. FUCK! How HOW HOW??!?!?!?!?!! Stupid airline limit!!!!

Right, anyhows, here's the Paula Meehan poem.

Quitting the Bars

Quitting's hard but staying sober's harder.
The day by day; the drudge and boredom bit;
not sure if the self is cell or warder.

You quit the bars; you quit the sordid ardour;
you quit the tulpas sucking on your tit.
Quitting's hard but staying sober's harder.

You sometimes think you got away with murder.
The shady souls regard you as you sit -
you wonder if they are wards or warders

in this sad cafe. The mind's last border
dissolves. Guilt has done a midnight flit.
Quitting's hard but staying sober's harder.

So sip cool water; the light's a wonder
streaming out in wave-particles. You've lit
up bright your prison cell. Body - warder

of your dreams - will be the dream's recorder,
though wrapped now in a skin that doesn't fit.
Quitting's hard but staying sober's harder;
stranger for you being both ward and warder.

-Paula Meehan

That's quite an accurate account, put economically and beautifully into a poem. I hate writing poems. It's such a difficult thing to do, it makes me feel small and stupid when I try and all that comes out are cheesy, cliche lines.

Ah wells.

I'M QUITE EXCITED! 6 MORE DAYS!!!!

And I'm getting an apartment! So everyone's invited! My door's always open!

God's little helpers.

2008-08-29T22:21:00.000-07:00

AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BITCH!

That's a guttural cry of frustration, exasperation and every other fucking -ration in between for you.

It's like, nowadays, I don't even bother to try anymore because I know the results will always be the same.

It's God's subtle little way of showing me the middle finger and telling me to fuck off.

And that's the way it ought to be.

2008-08-26T16:44:00.000-07:00

You know, I've always wondered why Dipsy has such a tanned face. Is this something racial or what??

Anyway, found another lovely poem by D. H. Lawrence. Have been reading lots of poems lately.

To Women, As Far As I'm Concerned

The feelings I don't have, I don't have.
The feelings I don't have, I won't say I have.
The feelings you say you have, you don't have.
The feelings you would like us both to have, we neither of us have.

The feelings people ought to have, they never have.
If people say they've got feelings, you may be pretty sure they haven't got them.

So if you want either of us to feel anything at all
you'd better abandon all idea of feelings altogether.

-D. H. Lawrence

And that's the way it ought to be, and should be.

Well, just got home from a loooooong night. A long, sober night. As Paula Meehan puts it in 'Quitting the Bars', "Quitting's hard but staying sober's harder." But that's a poem for another time. A poem a day, I say! Before bed! After sex!

Anyway, it was a long night spent dissecting the internal mechanisms of Fatties. Yeah, I'm a fattist, so what? People discriminate against alcoholics, smokers and divorcees, and this is no different. In fact, we fattists ought to form a political party and exterminate them! I mean, I can deal with those mildly overweight, pleasantly plump but with a nice, hot face kind. Everyone has their mildly-oveweight days, right? But not those with paunches, moobs and the works! UGH. The day I will submit to the will of a Fatty is the day Palestinians and Israelites make peace.

Am I a horrible, judgemental, critical, superficial bitch?

FUCK YEAH! At least I am not afraid to admit it, how bout you deal with your eating problem now, bitch?!

It was a long and hilarious night. I can't really remember my brilliant tirade, but I can assure it was funny as hell. Perhaps next time. I'm fucking shagged as hell.

120 days of Valentine - and counting.

2008-08-20T00:34:00.000-07:00

Had a sudden bout of inspiration while baking my buns at the pool.

This may be 6 months too early, but I know what a certain lucky fella is getting for 2009's Valentine's Day.

Ladies and gentlemen: (well, what do you think? try your hand at literary criticism!)

120 Days of Valentine

Look at me, my sweet Valentine.
Look at me like it's love at first sight.

Kiss my lips, my sweet Valentine.
Kiss me like a Hollywood movie.

Spoil me, my sweet, darling Valentine.
Bring me the moon, Jupiter and Mars.

Explore me, my sweet Valentine.
Explore me like Columbus did.

Fuck me hard, (yes yes YES!)
Fuck me dirty like first-class porn.

Flog my hide, my sweet Valentine.
Flog me like the Marquis de Sade.

Suck me up, my sweet Valentine.
Suck my blood like Count Dracula.

Cut me open, my sweet Valentine.
Carve me up like Jack the Ripper.

Take my limbs, my sweet Valentine.
Keep my ear like Van Gogh's whore.

Decapitate me, my sweet Valentine.
Decapitate me like Henry VIII did.

And when you are finished,
my sweet, sweet Valentine,

Eat me up, my sweet Valentine.
Eat me up like Hannibal did.

Sometimes, I feel like I Have turned into Miss Havisham.

2008-08-18T09:04:00.000-07:00

Havisham

Beloved sweetheart bastard. Not a day since then
I haven't wished him dead. Prayed for it
so hard I've dark green pebbles for eyes,
ropes on the back of my hands I could strangle with.

Spinster. I stink and remember. Whole days
in bed cawing Nooooo at the wall; the dress
yellowing, trembling if I open the wardrobe;
the slewed mirror, full-length, her, myself, who did this

to me? Puce curses that are sounds not words.
Some nights better, the lost body over me,
my fluent tongue in its mouth in its ear
then down till suddenly bite awake. Love's

hate behind a white veil; a red balloon bursting
in my face. Bang. I stabbed at a wedding cake.
Give me a male corpse for a long slow honeymoon.
Don't think it's only the heart that b-b-b-breaks.

-Carol Ann Duffy, from Mean Time

I love this poem. I love "Mean Time". I love Miss Havisham. I love Carol Ann Duffy.

She speaks to the heart.

Feel extraordinarily inspired, and am going to pen some angsty, angry poems.

TAKE IT! IMMORTALITY - IT'S YOURS!

2008-08-17T05:25:00.000-07:00

BEHOLD, LOWLY MORTALS. I HAVE FOUND THE ELIXIR OF IMMORTALITY: THE SECRET TO RUNNING 2.4KM IN INSANE TIMING!

HAHAHAHAHA

3 CANS OF RED BULL IN 15 MINUTES.

GREAT STUFF THERE.

I FEEL ANOTHER 6KM FITTER.

Hmm, I might actually come to like running.

What turns me on?

2008-08-14T01:23:00.000-07:00

Double-necked guitars are the ugliest things in the world, but also the sexiest at the same time. There's something so powerful about it. Hmmm. I like men with power.

This is THE SEX (of course Slash (GOD I LOVE THAT TATTOO) himself is a contributing factor).

This is just one (three) too many.

See? I'm not a total SPG.

2008-08-12T09:02:00.000-07:00

I don't even want to begin to describe my pain from yesterday's fiasco.

As the day wears on, the more my thighs, calves and ass hurt.

Why the fuck does my ass ache?! But that's good, anyhow. FIRM IT UP BABY! Not that it ain't firm already. But the ugly tan-gradient is making it look hideous! Must work hard on that next.

I am immobilised by pain. Watching 'Letters from Iwo Jima' for the fourth time. Seriously, it is SUCH a good film. Will cry every time without fail. LOVE Ken Watanabe. Men like him get better with age. MMMM. Older men are better. Heh heh heh.

Look at that intense gaze man. Who can resist it?! Ah shit, I'm smiling bashfully (hahaha never thought I'll have the chance to use this word. 'BASHFUL'.) and contentedly at his picture. His charisma radiates from the screen. OK THIS IS GETTING CHEESY SO I'MA STOP NOW.

See? I'm not a (total) SPG. I can like Asian men too.

I... fucking... hate... running..........

2008-08-11T08:15:00.001-07:00

I hate running. I bloody hate running.

Finally managed to haul my fatass off the bed today (after 2 weeks of procrastination and bumming) and went for my first run in 5 months.

IT WAS HELL, I TELL YOU. HELL.

All was well UNTIL I FREAKING GOT LOST!!!! It seems that after 5 months, I am unable to recall my usual route and totally went off-track. I would estimate my total distance clocked to be about 6km. The RUN eventually slowed to a JOG, and then a painful, half-hearted SLOW JOG, and finally came to rest at a BRISK WALK. Anyhow, they all say that brisk-walking is supposedly better than running, eh? So, there I was, idiotically walking around, trying to look cool like I know where I'm going and too proud to ask anyone for directions, while I was thinking "Fuck! Fuck!" inside all the time. When I FINALLY EMERGED from that hateful maze of private housing into the main road, I was so relieved I wanted to cry. Ok, I did cry a little. So I was running and crying at the same time, much to the amusement of random people.

And MA THIGHS!!! MY THIGHS!!!!!!!!!

Oh god, I cannot believe how unfit I've become. I am sure I will awake tomorrow, unable to move a limb. Ugh, it's depressing enough to make one want to give up and just leave it all to nature.

I fucking hate running. The next time, I'll just go swim, like I always used to. But only at night, or I'll get those hideous tanlines I've worked so hard to even out. (Hmm, actually come to think of it I didn't reall "work hard". It was more of laying around at the pool in glamorous fashion and letting the sun do its job. Hmmm.)

I'll blow my horn and I'll blow yours too!

2008-08-04T22:38:00.000-07:00

Man, there's nothing like an ICE COLD BEER and CHET BAKER on a HOT SUMMER'S DAY.

It is about 35 degrees Celsius right now.

I have an ICE COLD Franzisakaner Weißbier (it has yeast in it! yes yeast! coolest beer ever.).

I have Chet Baker singing and blowing his horn. (ok, trumpet, but horn sounds more appropriate in this sentence.)

This is THE life.

(I'll upload the music later man. Bloody internet is fucking up again.)

(YOU HAVE TO READ THIS! YA HAVE TO! YA HAVE TO! IT'S LIKE.. WOW.)

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS

You don't know what love is
Until you've learned the meaning of the blues
Until you've loved a love you've had to lose
You don't know what love is

You don't know how lips hurt
Until you've kissed and had to pay the cost
Until you've flipped your heart and you have lost
You don't know what love is

Do you know how a lost heart feels
The thought of reminiscing
And how lips that taste of tears
Lose their taste for kissing

You don't know how hearts burn
For love that can not live yet never dies
Until you've faced each dawn with sleepless eyes
You don't know what love is

You don't know how hearts burn
For love that can not live yet never dies
Until you've faced each dawn with sleepless eyes
You don't know what love is.....what love is....

'Tis like, the most poetic love song ever (see below). I'll instantly marry the guy who writes something like that AND sings like Chet, AND plays like Chet.

Which is humanly impossible HAHAHA.

RIGHT RIGHT! OFF TO TAKE A MID-DAY NAP BEFORE WAKING UP FOR KEROPOK AND CHILLI AND ANOTHER SIMPSONS MARATHON! WHO LIVES LIKE THIS, EH?

ME!!!!!

Screw the health regime.

HERE'S A LESSON ON EUROPEAN GEOGRAPHY!

2008-08-04T04:42:00.000-07:00

AND BY THE WAY, HUNGARY IS A COUNTRY!!! AN INDEPENDENT, SOVEREIGN COUNTRY!!! That used to be part of the Austro-Hungarian empire in the 1800s!!! It is NOT some town in Germany, nor is it part of Russia!! HERE'S A MAP!!! I guess Americans aren't the only geographically-illiterate ones!!!

Well honey, it's all the same, init??

2008-08-03T10:38:00.001-07:00

Because SUDDENLY, everyone's asking when I'm leaving, I'll just announce it right now, yeah? Like, WOAH DUDE. Can't you guys be less obvious in hustling me out of Singapore? I can't believe I'm so unpopular! :( Haha.

Anyway, I guess I'll be leaving on the 8th of Septemeber. Or thereafter. Depends on if I can get cheap air tickets. School starts on the glorious 15th! And all hell breaks loose then. My, my. I'm somewhat oscilliating between "Waheee!", and "HOH MY GOD I AM SO SCARED SHITLESS".

I don't know.

Fuck man.

2008-08-02T12:42:00.000-07:00

You know the feeling where your're like, high, but not drunk enough to collapse into bed/party some more/read a book?

Yeah, that's kinda how I'm feeling right now.

SO... FREAKING.... BORED!!!!!!!!!!

SINGAPORE SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! When you live here for 18 years.

I'm sure I'll start missing it once I go back to Hungary.

That's why I'm eating bakchormee everyday. So that I'll be disgusted enough to not crave it in Budapest.

On a second note, should I go for singfest tomorrow???

Feel like shit but cannot look like shit. Or. Look like shit but cannot feel like shit?

2008-08-01T01:40:00.000-07:00

Hmm, yeah, kinda saw that coming.

Like the second coming of christ.

Pfft.

In other news: I PASSED MY GERMAN!!! 'Horen' und 'lesen' sind sehr gut, 'schreiben' ist gut, aber 'sprechen' ist nicht so gut. Whatever, I PASSED THE BAR WOOHOO! NOW I'm one step closer to... what I don't know. But it's still one step, so HELL YEAH!

Dude. Feel like shit man. Nose is rebelling and trying to break free from face. Who was it that said, "Feel like shit, but cannot look like shit".. Or is it the other way round? Never really got it right. I guess it depends on how ugly you are. HAH! It's true both ways anyway. OK, gonna do a mask, pop 2 (or more, hmmmm?) and then pass out. Whoo! Passing out is always good cos you get the best sleep. Szia!

Singapore vs. Brazil baby!

2008-07-27T06:41:00.000-07:00

I'm watching the SINGAPORE VS. BRAZIL match tomorrow.

From the GRANDSTANDS.

For FREE.

HAHAHAHAHA! BE JEALOUS. BE VERY JEALOUS!!!

Yay awesome! Time to guess the final score! You never know, maybe the Brazilians will play blindfolded!! ;)

At least he didn't taste of whiskey?

2008-07-26T11:13:00.000-07:00

I AM INCREASINGLY HORRIFIED BY THE PHOTOS I SEE OF WHAT HAPPENED AT MOS.

DUDE!!!!

And it doesn't HELP that everyone has their profile picture of THAT?!!?!?!? ARGH! My reputation is definitely tarnished forever. I will now have to change my last name and move far away from here.

Best part? I don't have an excuse because I wasn't even drunk man. COMPLETELY SOBER. I can't imagine what would happen if I were drunk. And without my two protective mother hens... Hah.

Well, at least he didn't taste of whiskey. (I bloody hate whiskey. Makes me vomit.)

And he was English.

And he was not fat. (Though on the short side.)

Hmmmm.

It was quite nice, actually. Hahaha.

Ok, will not elaborate. I don't want judgemental people to criticise my (negligible) morals and turpitude. Like, HONEY, I KNOW. Just shut up already. It's different when THESE PEOPLE do it and when like, the girls do it.

Like, WHAT------EVER.

Anyway, I just read Mishima's 'Patriotism' again.

DUDE IT'S FREAKING CHILLING. I loveitloveitloveit!!! You guys should REALLY REALLY READ IT. It's short and simple. But the effect is like, WOAH. I wanted to cry and die at the end. In fact, Mishima DID do the hara kiri disembowelement thing himself. Go check it out on wikipedia man. WHAT a guy.

"With only his right hand on the sword the lieutenant began to cut sideways across his stomach. But as the blade became entangled with the entrails it was pushed constantly outward by their soft resilience; and the lieutenant realised that it would be necessary, as he cut, to use both hands to keep the point pressed deep into his stomach. He pulled the blade across. It did not cut as easily as he had expected. He directed the strength of his whole body into his right hand and pulled again. There was a cut of three or four inches...."

And my FAVOURITE LINE FROM THE STORY:

"The vommiting made the fierce pain fiercer still, and the stomach, which had thus far remained firm and compact, now abruptly heaved, opening wide its wound, and the entrails burst through, as if the wound too were vomiting. Seemingly ignorant of their master's suffering, the entrails gave an impression of robust health and almost disagreeable vitality as they slipped smoothly out and spilled over into the crotch. The lieutenant's head drooped, his shoulders heaved, his eyes opened to narrow slits, and a thin trickle of saliva dribbled from his mouth. The gold markings on his epaulettes caught the light and glinted..."

MAN.

How can you not FEEL when you read this? I'm sure it's even better in Japanese.

Now is a good time to prepare and ready myself for another round of Dostoyevsky... or (DARE I SAY IT) Kafka?????

You know what? Maybe not. Marquis de Sade will do absolutely fine. (Hehehehehe)

Night of a thousand orgies.

2008-07-24T08:33:00.001-07:00

Wah sia lah. DAMNNNN fucking shagged. Not literally... I think? Anyway, it was an adventurous night, to say the least. Hehehe. I mean, like, it turned from 1-for-1 to TOTALLY FREE DRINKS!!! Free entry and free drinks... That's like waving a red flag to a Spanish bull. We totallly ATTACKED. 2 jugs, 6 shots and countless strange mixers later....

Haha.

I was grabbing the vines off the wall and dancing with the bloody plant, throwing leaves at everyone. And in the TOILET, that was the best. I sustained so many injuries (which I of course did not feel then) that I almost couldn't move today. Here's a summary of events: Like, I tottered (just barely) to the toilet, peed, stood up to clean my ass, fell back down on the seat, laughed, stood up again and this time rammed my head into the door, after which like force-and-effect, I fell back down on the seat, and as I turned for more toilet paper, I banged my head into the toilet paper holder.

Damn funny now.

And I'm convinced the best way to quit is to smoke/drink/fuck (in no particular order) yourself into a disgusting frenzy and vomit uncontrollably (ok, maybe not uncontrollably) so that you will swear never to drink/smoke/fuck again.... for the next 5 days. I mean, I woke up tasting my vodka in my mouth. Could even taste the potato the vodka was brewed from. And I was so stoned I wore my panties the wrong way around, and broke a bra strap (HOW, I don't know how.). Ahhh ya shoulda been there. It was the most hilarious night ever.

Ok, I can't really remember much, and I am so awfully tired. Went to the bloody zoo today. SUCH GOOD, CLEAN, WHOLESOME FUN! Hahaha. I still hate animals. But anyway. I am going to crash. (first normal sleeping time) TOMORROW WILL BE A BETTER NIGHT! I will exercise my exceptional powers of self-control by chanting my personal mantra.

MY favourite things, MINE MINE MINE, dammit.

2008-07-22T12:59:00.000-07:00

OHMYGOD??? Like, this song is TOTALLY for me!!

Favourite Things - Incubus

I'm thinking of my soul's sovereignty,
and I know everything you hate in me.
Fill me up with over-pious badgerings,
to throw them up, oh, one of my favorite things.

Too bad the things that make you mad
are my favorite things.
My favorite things.

Remember all the lessons fed to me?
Me the young sponge, so ready to agree.
Years have gone; I recognize the walking dead,
now aware that I'm alive and way ahead.

Too bad the things that make you mad
are my favorite things. yeah
And I'm so happy.
I see you looking, I know that you're thinking
that I'll never go anywhere.
The things that I've done and the things
that I've seen, I don't really expect you to care.

Too bad the things that make you mad
are my favorite things... yeah
And I'm so happy

Too bad the things that make you mad
are my favorite things

HAH. Suck that, bitch. Harumph. But really, Incubus is extraordinary. Like, lyrics-wise and music-wise and performance-wise. (I know, because I was there when they came to Singapore - how can I forget that? It was SO HOT!) I know this song isn't well-known, or even that popular (they played this at the gig, and everyone was like, eh? wot's that again? And I'm the only bitch there going OHMYGODITSMYFAVOURITESONGEVERAHHHHHHHAHHHHHHAHHHHH! SHIT DUDES WHATISWRONGWITHYOUGUYS?!?!?!?! ITS FAVOURITE THINGSSSSSSSS!!!), but that's good. I hate it when it becomes all commercialised because then it loses some of its specialness. Anyway, I'm off on a tirade again. All their songs are like... Oh my god I can totally relate to EACH INCIDENT in my shithole life.

In VERY unrelated news, I am so happy!!! (Eh sia lah, I sound a bit schizo man.) FINALLY, FINALLY my teacher thinks I'm good enough to play... GUESS WHAT... WAIT FOR IT WAIT FOR IT...

BOTTESINI'S CONCERTO NO. 2 IN B MINOR!!!! YEAAAAH! That's the shit right there man. I mean, Koussevitzsky's No. 3 is CHICKENSHIT compared to this. (Hahaha much less bloody Capuzzi.) I'm really fumbling over this. Unlike my usual extrordinary immortal superhuman sight-reading abilities. (Oh oh, forgive me. THOU SHALT NOT BE PRIDEFUL.) It's like learning like, I don't know, what's a really difficult concerto? Liszt's Piano Concerto or Ravel's Left Hand Concerto or something. (Shit, I ought to listen to classical stuff more. I'm studying that for god's sake. ARGH) MAN OH MAN. I'm ELATED! Yes yes yes EVERYTHING IS GOING SO WELLLLLL!!!!! In 2 weeks, I'm gonna show you punks what a double bass really is. WAHEEEEE!!

Ok ok, feel like vomitting. Going tanning tomorrowwwww!!! And Thursday!!! Yayyyyy!!! (I AM NOT GETTING BURNT AGAIN. This time I have SPF 100000.)

GREAT! I know, jetlag and all, but fuck that man, I'm going back to Europe in about a month! I can sleep anytime I goddamn want! Nanananananaaaaa!

And why are there so many people online???!! Don't you guys have SCHOOL or something?! Jesus. Kids nowadays. ALL HOOLIGANS I TELLYA, HOOLIGANS!

GOODBYEEEEEE SUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-07-21T06:45:00.000-07:00

YES YES FUCKING YES BABY I GOT INTO THE FRANZ LISZT ACADEMY!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO'S YOUR DADDY NOW EH BITCH!?????

I AM FUCKING EUPHORIC!!!!!

I AM REALLY PLANNING A FAREWELL PARTY NOW! EVERYONE'S INVITED!!! BRING YOUR OWN WHORES!!! I'LL HIRE MIDGETS AND BUY FIRECRACKERS!!!!!

ARGHHHH YES!!!!

IT'S "GOODBYEEEEEE SUCKERSSSSSS!" AND "HELLOOOOOOOO BUDAPEST!!!!"

hoh my fucking god, this is DA SHIT. DA SHIT MAN!!!! Fuck if I'm alone.

YES YES YES YES 4 STRAIGHT DAYS OF CLUBBING IS MAKING ME INSANE BUT I DON'T CARE BECAUSE IF I DON'T DRINK MYSELF INTO OBLIVION NOW, WHEN CAN I???? (hey I'm going there to STUDY you know, not PARTY?? SERIOUS!)

HURRAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Il fumo daneggia gravemente te e chi ti sta intorno

2008-07-20T11:33:00.000-07:00

Now that I'm back in Singapore for like, 43 hours (ok I admit it took me about 2 minutes to calculate that - WITHOUT A CALCULATOR OK, SO IT AIN'T MY FAULT BITCHES), I finally realised HOW MUCH I MISS EVERYONE!!!

YOU HEAR THAT YOU GUYS?!!! I FUCKING MISS YA ALL!!!!

SO WHEN ARE WE MEETING UP!?!?!?!?!

So freaking bored at home. Bumming around, alternately putting things into mouth and reading stupid books like 'He's just not that into you'. DUDE, don't ever read that book. It's a bunch of nonsense, basically just boosting your ego and telling you how fabulous you are. I'm so disgusted by it. Almost as bad as 'Tuesdays with Moorie' - like, can it get any preachier??! Hate these books. It makes me feel small inside.

Well, anyway, I cannot wait for ladies night. And New Asia!!! And my leaving party! Everyone's invited! Bring your own whores!

YES YES YES!!!!

Once again, after I return from a trip, I find a huge fucking bomb of gossip waiting for me. It ain't fair! I didn't land any Italian guys after all. (NOT surprising, considering... DESPITE all my life-long fate meeting Italians everywhere but in Italia.)

I don't know what I'll do without you guys. :( :( :(

Alcohol, I know I can trust you. You won't leave me like those dirty bastards did, would you?

In unrelated news: I really CANNOT stop shitting. I've shitted like, 9 times today. Is that all the toxins in my body? But that's ridiculous! My body is a temple!

Right right right. Thank god for these draft-saving options on blogger. I'm an extreme person, and sometimes I need to edit things that I say. Wouldn't want people to get the wrong impression now, would I?

(Hmm, I just re-read through this, and the irony in that is absolutely TREMENDOUS. Ah-ha!)

Ok, need to do frivolous, totally un-intellectual things like paint my fingers. Bloody judgemental Singaporeans. I feel so inferior now!!! AARGH! Goddamn you!

from russia with love... soon.

2008-07-19T11:43:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAHA I AM SO AMUSED (BLOG-HOPPING) BY THE VARIOUS ENTRIES I READ. AND THE VARIOUS HEARTACHES HAHAHAHAHAHA ALL THESE LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS. THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN LOVE.

All right then, RUSSIA NEXT!!

CIAO BELLA, COME VA?

2008-07-19T08:22:00.000-07:00

OH MAN.

Back from Italy.

Memorable, in a very different way.

I don't know. HMMM. Feels liks deja vu, like 2005 in Vienna. But after all, it's been 6 years... I'ma miss everyone!!! I don't want to go Hungary/Russia anymore! (Oh god. Oh god. I really shouldn't be saying this. What if it really comes true?!) I'll be all aloneeeeeeeee!!! Despite the various prejudices and discriminations I already face in Singapore. Ya know, I had almost forgotten how Singaporeans are like because hang out too much with my friends. Close-minded, judgemental schmucks. Hah. It's been QUITE A WHILE since I travelled with a monster bunch of Singaporeans. It is extremely different.

Anyway, I have absolutely no inspiration now to think of witty and subversive paragraphs, lined with thinly-veiled references to potty humour, so I think I will blog another time.

Ciao!

you got my temperature like el-ninyo?

2008-07-08T11:40:00.000-07:00

I don't know if it's a good thing, but I realised that I sound exactly like Tata Young when I sing.

I can even sound like Rihanna and Britney Spears.

Actually, it's not much of a compliment, because they can't sing.

Hmmm.

Hallelujah may the waters open!!!!

2008-07-08T10:15:00.000-07:00

I am asked again, today, regarding my non-existant boyfriend.

By a taxi-driver.

GOD IS MOCKING ME. FREAKING MOCKING ME, MAN.

Well, I am now furiously packing (yeah, taking a break now) before flying to Italia tomorrow.

OH YOU LOWLY MORTALS, DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE MY EXCEPTIONAL ABILITY (which I suspect is of a divine nature) TO PACK LARGE AMOUNTS OF THINGS INTO A SMALL AMOUNT OF SPACE. TOMORROW, BEHOLD THE SIZE OF MY LUGGAGE! It is too beautiful. Even I marvel at my extraordinary ability - Praise the Lord!

Anyhow, there are certain things that I'm unhappy about. All I'm going to say is we are going to ultra-hip Italy looking like tramps. Humph. And I guess some people ain't so "open-minded" after all, huh??

Concert today was fine. I have never felt so tired and stoned during a concert before. But, yeah.

Ok, I have to now continue with my packing. Seems to me that all I ever do is to pack and unpack - Ah ha! Ah ha ha ha! Life's a bitch, init? You can't have it 5 ways. (Hmm, actually, you can - IF you know what I mean. Technically and theorectically, you actually CAN. Hmmm. This calls for further contemplations and meditations.)

I am now, also, in addition to my other outstanding capacities in various areas, an expert in sleeping on airplanes, regardless of size of seats, positions and people around you. You may consult me for a small fee.

Szia!

my body is a temple; my body is a shrine.

2008-07-07T02:49:00.000-07:00

I am back in bloody Singapore.

:(:(:(:(:( (x 1000000)

So touched by the Hungarian hospitality and warmth. OHHHH brings a tear to my eyes. Well, you can check out their gypsy band here:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=bNRb-mGN7ww

My friend's the violinist, his brother's the guitarist, and their dad's a bassist. SO COOL RIGHT??? But yeah, hard life. Gigs are not fixed, and well, sometimes you have dry spells. But it's summer now so they've got quite a few gigs. Anyway, I'm supposed to help them find some gigs in Singapore (For some reason they really really REALLY LOVE Singapore. Especially Little India and Mustadfa Centre. In fact, they want to name their next child Mustafa. Hahaha!), so if anyone has contacts, please call me!

Well, I don't know why, but all them Hungarians have a strange, almost obsessive fixation with why I do not have a boyfriend. Not only Hungarians, even the nice Russians I met on the plane too. I am asked about 5 times a day, "SO, you have boyfriend in Szingapur???" (with an Eastern European accent). When I reply in the negative,they look extremely shocked, almost outraged that I had insulted their whole family or similar, and they go, "WHY NOT?!?!?!??! -pause- I see you nice girl, ya? Why no boyfriend???"

WELL, IF ONLY I KNEW???

And they best part - WAIT FOR IT:

"You no like Singapore boys? Singapore boys no good, yes? Yes, I hear Singapore girls say, Singapore boys no good."

HAHAHAHAHAH!! That was the best line I've ever heard.

"In Singapore, you no boyfriend. Maybe in Hungary, you have boyfriend, yes???"

HELL YEAH!

Well, anyway. The last night in Budapest was the ultimate man. Because of my tradition to buy back local beers from countries I visit, I bought a 6-pack of Borsodi. All them one-pinters. And I REALISED, I have no check-in luggage! Awesome! So I have to finish it all. That's six fucking pints, which is about 3 litres. Perched on the window ledge in underwear (I don't want my clothes to give me away, do I?), singing Hungarian folksongs, chain-smoking and glugging Borsodi beer. Oh, my body is a temple.

3 very long hours later, I had a massive, champion headache. I thought my head was going to explode.

Bloody shit beer.

Once, I got so confused (I was NOT drunk. I was CONFUSED.) I put the matchstick (ran out of lighter fluid) in my mouth and tried to light it with my ciggie, and becoming increasingly frustrated that it wouldn't light.

Ah, don't you just love the nightlife in Budapest.

The stripbars suck though. The dancers can't dance.

Right right, I must now go to eat my BAKCHORMEEEEEEEE which I have thought about for the past 5 days. Will upload the photos (I took some.) later, brain not functioning now and cannot figure out how to connect the bloody phone to the computer. Grrr. Grrrrrrr.

Szia! (You say, "See-ya!". It means hello/bye. Same as 'ciao'.)

my milkshake brings all the boys in the yard.

2008-07-03T09:49:00.001-07:00

MOTHERCOCK.

That's all I can say man. Bloody aural so fucking difficult.

FAIL ALREADY FAIL ALREADY.

Have to notate a 10-bar classical sonata by ear, notate a 20th century work by ear, notate the outer lines and figured bass of a chorale by ear, notate 10 bars of weirdass intervals, and do some seriously crazy satb writing.

Notice that most things you have to do by ear.

Which is very (extremely) tricky and no easy feat for someone who does not have perfect pitch, and the only pitch I can sing is 'A' (thank you SYO).

Before today, I have never seen a chord that is VI642 or IV6#4 or I3. Using my extraordinary powers of deduction, I assumed that it is a combination of roman numerals and figured bass. However, upon working it out, the chords made as much sense to me as organic chemistry. They might as well asked me to do Ad-Math. I couldn't find anything to sharpen.

DAMN YOU MEP!!!!!

All those years of MEP (SIX to be exact) have not prepared me for such a blow. SO DEPRESSED. Feel like 5 kinds of shit. Remember kids, if you think you're having a bad day, I'm having a worse one.

AAARGH!!! I want to go home. Did I mention there is still fucking PART TWO to the aural? Yes, dear comrades! ORAL tasks. (Now now, what are you kids thinking?! BLASPHEMOUS HERETICS!) Awesome. I am going to make a fool out of myself. Well, at least I take comfort that my performing was good enough for the academy.

In unrelated news, I bumped into my cute senior today on the stairs! Hahaha! Like, HOW FATED CAN WE GET?!?!?!??! And he said hi to me. HAHAHA!

Ok ok whatever. I'm still faithful to my Andrei.

In second unrelated news, the ciggies here ain't cheap man. Condoms are not cheap either. Hmmm. AARGH.

NO MORE KISSES FROM BUDAPEST!!!

I AM GOD-LIKE.

2008-07-02T09:31:00.000-07:00

I passed the double bass audition! I AM A GOD. HAHAHAH SUCK THAT BITCHES!

And I have a cute senior.

WOOHOO! I have NEVER (no offense hahaha) seen a cute double bassist (probably explains the painful and long dry spell of mine despite my best efforts, bloody dick).

Tomorrow: aural (written) and Friday: aural (spoken) and piano!

I HAVE TO PASS ALL THESE TO GET IN. Cock.

Went out with the Hungarian family today to Buda. SEHR SCHÖN. Not to mention I was served by the most handsome-looking waiter I've ever seen. Hahaha. He looked like he should be on the back of a magazine. HOTNESS.

Am going to the family's house tomorrow for lunch! Es ist sehr kuhl. I don't know why, but I keep breaking out in German here. Hah. I feel like I'm adopted or something man. Hahahaha.

Oh my god I have INSANE bakchormee, prata and sashimi cravings. Fuck the diet, I am eating all these once I touch down in Singapore.

Why is there no one online?

2008-07-01T11:39:00.001-07:00

I ask myself, Why is there no one online, and then I realise it is 2:39am on a Wednesday morning in Singapore.

It is 8.39pm in Hungary.

Kisses from Budapest!

Budapest day 3... and counting!

2008-07-01T09:50:00.000-07:00

BUDAPEST IS THE SHIT MAN.

Whoever said it is dangerous can eat their socks. I have never been in a country safer than this. Hahaha. It is awesome. Well. I have new friends: this Egyptian chap I met during my freaking 8-hour transit in Istanbul, a Korean guy in the dorm and a family of gypsies. ISN'T THAT EXCITING.

Well, audition was today. HOH MY GOD I NEVER FELT SO INSECURE MY WHOLE LIFE, even when confronted with stick-thin glamorous supermodels. There were like 8 bassists auditioning. And their basses were superb. This girl was freaking playing BOTTESINI ??? WTH. And my programme didn't even have much impressive high-register stuff. Within 10 minutes, I was tempted to leave. Only the thought that I had carried a 10kg instrument for 1.6km deterred me. YEAH I AM GOD. Hahaha. As if being probably the only Asian girl in the city was not enough, I had to play a hugeass instrument, which drew me many many stares from everyone. Now, that is not the kind of stares I want from men. Hah.

Well, I don't know how the audition went. It was alright, I guess. This is how it went:

I enter room to find an audience of about 15 people. FUCK. There were 2 bass professors, and about 8 double bass students from the Zeneakademia. Excellent.

Well, no choice, just start playing and smile with captivating sweetness. Played the full Eccles, about 1 page of Capuzzi (I DID NOT PLAY THE FUCKING SECOND MOVEMENT) and 3/4 of the Hrabe etude. I DID NOT PLAY THE FUCKING STORCH ETUDE WHICH I SPENT 5 DAYS PAINFULLY MEMORISING EVEN IN MY SLEEP. NABEI. Wah quite pissed off man. Ok, I am grateful in a way. But the wasted effort!!! ARGH! And we were all allowed to use scores! Which meant I memorised everything for nothing! GREAT!

So anyway, then there was the sight-reading, which was easy. Mozart's Symphony 40 third movement. HAH.

Of course I was quite irked that I was stopped in the middle of Capuzzi and all. That's a bad sign init? I don't know. But AFTER the audition, these 2 guys (bass students at the academy) came to me and were like, "oh so how did you hear about the academy, and which teacher would you prefer? Where did you study? Tokyo? (hahaha)" And after that another dude was like, "CONGRATULATIONS! THAT WAS V GOOD!" Seriously, I was rather frightened. Haha.

I was quite pleased after I recollected my senses.

But quick as fuck, I remembered that god loves to play tricks on me (don't even get me started), and after all these pleasantries, I will most probably receive a very friendly e-mail from the nice lady from the international department thanking me for my efforts and not to be disappointed (fucking RJ, I will always remember how you rejected me bastards!).

Oh well, there is still solfa-harmony and the compulsory piano.

Free day tomorrow. God knows what I'll do. Maybe I should go run naked through the Városligeti Park. Yes, I have indeed gone running, in a desperate bid to impress the men with my STUNNING physique (hahahahaha!!!), and it is a huge park.

No??

FUCKING DEPRESSED.

2008-06-26T13:41:00.000-07:00

I AM MUCH TOO DEPRESSED TO TALK.

AM AVOIDING ALL NEWSPAPERS AND TVMOBILE FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS.

WHY?!?!?!?!? WHY?!?!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW COME?!?!?!?!?!??!!?!??!

THE MAGIC WAS NOT THERE. WE WERE MOWED DOWN; FUCKING MOWED DOWN BY THE BLOODY SPANIARDS. (To their credit, they played awesome. But.)

I AM GOING TO HAVE TO WATCH THE FINALS ALONE IN A DINGY BUDAPEST PUB.

All my hopes are now pinned on die deutschen Mannschaft.

As a sign of respect, I have just had 3 shots (well.. "swigs" would be more accurate) of Stoli vodka to salute my 3 brave comrades. (Wanted to make it 11 shots, but... unhealthy to drink alone.)

I will also don black for the next 3 days as a sign of mourning. Ohhhhh oh ohhhhh.

Oh my goodness. Feels like heartbreak. Who knew this is how rejection feels? I am going to retreat into my room and cry for awhile. Depressed and miserable. Fuck.

My poor Andrei.

Look at his dejected face. How can you not feel sorry and sad? Poor boy.

I'm still proud of you guys.

RUSKA FOREVA!

Навсегда Россия!

FATTIES AND SMOKIES!

2008-06-22T21:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, the thing that gets me is WHY DO PEOPLE DISCRIMINATE AGAINST SMOKERS?

People go around proclaiming proudly, "I HATE smokers" and phrases of the such, as if it's their virginity they are so proud of (whatever, these folks need to get laid). I FIND IT EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE AND RACIST. It is very unfair. Why, do we discriminate against fat people or vegetarians? It's the same principle, init? We don't go around saying, "I HATE FATTIES" or "I HATE VEGANS" now, do we? Or hear parents telling children horror stories of Fatties getting cancer/becoming too fat to get out of bed, therefore having to piss and shit in bed, finally being squashed to death by own fats, do we? Why? Cos of R-E-S-P-E-C-T?

Neither do we cram fatties into rooms in airports ("Fatty Room"?) and make them wait there for the flight. Or create Fatty-Free zones in pubs and bus-stops. Or tax them 200% on food beacuse they eat so much they can create the next ozone hole/wipe out the entire species of cows. Or make them pay extra on public transport. Or publish massive adverts warning the ill-effects of eating too much ("EATING KILLS") or print disgusting pictures of naked fat women in suggestive poses on packets of food. Or... Well, you get the gist of it. Actually, I'm finding it hilarious, imagining all these scenarios. Am I a bad person?

Anyways. I'm not a smoker (ok, well, I am a social smoker... sometimes.), but I feel the injustice of it all. It's during times like this that I want to smoke self into digusted frenzy so as to spite smoke-haters. Hah. Some people deal with their problems and stress by binge-eating. Well, others turn to the holy cigarette. Like homosexuals, one should not question their choice of lifestyle and seek to criticise them by implementing laws, but instead, learn to accept and live together harmoniously, like we do with Fatties.

I neeeeeeed a faaaaaaag.

2008-06-22T20:39:00.000-07:00

The past few days have been absolutely SWEET.

Russia-Sweden: 2-0

Germany-Portugal: 3-2

Russia-Netherlands: 3-1

I'm so proud.

The thing is to HAVE FAITH. I knew the Russians are there for a reason. ONWARDS COMRADES! Spain is going DOWN, baby. Here comes the Death Trio (Andrei, Roman and Zhirkov), Funny, Arshavin becomes hotter and hotter with each match/goal. HAHAHA.

Ahh. Hot stuff. Totally IN LOVE.

And this morning's match was the absolute most boring match EVER (Except Liverpool/Spurs matches). Italy-Spain. UGH. Fell alseep halfway. I KNEW it was going to penalties. I KNEW Spain would win. Dammit. If only I was so accurate every time I place a monetary bet.

Damn you, Karma.

Auditions in a week! AHHHHHHHRRGRHGHG!!!

It's like a hat-trick, only better.

2008-06-19T10:57:00.001-07:00

AM BACK FROM BINTAN!!!!!!!!!!

Lovely lovely place. Of course, KARMA my BFF strikes from anywhere.:

1. Got my period about 12 hours before leaving for Bintan. (Am very proud that I actually survived 3 days on tampons and swimming)

2. Kena stung by jellyfish

3. ULTIMATE BEST: Sunburnt like fuck. Like, first-degree burns. Man, I'm so burnt, even my eyelids are burnt. I can't sit, I can't stand, I can't walk faster than 2km/h, I can't wrinkle my nose. I can't wear a bra, I can hardly wear my underpants, I take 15 minutes to put on my clothes.

It's like a hat-trick, only better.

ANYWAY, TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT!!! GERMANY VS. PORTUGAL!!!!! AAAARRRGH!!! I'm so freaking TERRIFIED!!!! (Which is not to say that I do not have faith in my fellow Germans.) But, you know. Past matches haven't been so spectacular. Ah wells. 45 minutes to kickoff!!!!

And I'm so happy for the Russians! 2-0!!! SUCK THAT BITCHES!!!! Pavlyuchenko, Zhirkov, ARSHAVIN!!! Fuck Ronaldo. Selfish bastard.

SCHLAND!!!!!!!! COME ON YOU STUDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Ah ha ha ha!)

The Thought Police

2008-06-05T11:17:00.000-07:00

Yeah! Finally changed site and skin. TELETUBBIES!!!!! Don't you love it? DON'T YOU? DON'T YOU!?!??! YOU BETTER FUCKING DO, OR I'LL SET DIPSY ON YOU. I know the picture's blurry, but frankly, I don't give a shit because I hate html and all those IT nonsense. If anyone would like to help me, dozo.

The Teletubbies just brings back waves of nostalgia. Man. I remember in primary school, and we had all those fucking horror stories about the teletubby killer talking-dolls. And whether they are gay. Actually, I DO think they are gay, and the creators of these demon dolls secretly take pleasure in how kids just LAP IT ALL UP LIKE GOOD PORNSTARS DO. Heh heh. Ok, me too. I mean, COME ON, DIPSY?! What the fuck is a name like "Dipsy"?! Somehow it just makes me think of dildos, no thanks to that long antenna sticking out from its head.

Anyway, it's been rehearsals all night long. There goes all my night life. Anyway, yesterday I was at Plaza Sing, and they were blasting "Pump It" at the Children's Fair. !?!?!?!??! That's just sick. HAHA. Maybe that's a new way of conditioning... by tapping into the unrealised powers in the subconscious minds of children, and programming them in such a way that in the future they would associate dirty, sexually-suggestive songs with innocent events, thus resulting in yet another irreversible generation of dysfunctional, dystopic, fucked-up idiots.

Ah, I don't know. Am much too lazy to blog. Seems like I'm just too lazy to do anything. Bah.